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Post by DocQuantum on Jul 5, 2017 5:23:58 GMT
Prologue: Mr. Wombat's Brilliant Planby Doc QuantumEight months ago:
In the bustling offices of BC Comics, nestled in the heart of New Yak, Gnu York, Mr. Wombat, the president of Wombat Communications and the publisher of BC Comics, was in a foul mood. His fur had more frizz than usual, and feathers were molting all around him. Gathered before him were a motley crew of comic-book editors, writers, and artists, all sporting nervous expressions. They had been waiting for the arrival of the elusive editor Duck G. Ordano and the beloved artist/writer of the Just'a Lotta Animals comic-book, Roger Rodney Rabbit. The duo was fashionably late, much to everyone's dismay.
As the tension in the room became so palpable that you could cut it with a knife, Duck and Rodney finally sauntered in. Rodney immediately launched into a flurry of apologies. "I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Wombat, really, really sorry," Rodney stammered as he scrambled for an empty seat. "My flight was as delayed as a tortoise in a marathon, and my baggage gave me more trouble than a bull in a china shop. It's all on me -- Duck's as innocent as a lamb."
Little did anyone know that Rodney's delay had a heroic reason behind it. In his alter ego as Captain Carrot, he had been chasing down Fantastidrake, an escapee from the dark mirror world of Earth-Reverse-C. Fantastidrake had slipped out of Sting Sting Prison, and it was up to Captain Carrot to round him up and send him back where he belonged. Rodney also knew that someday, the captured members of the Nasty Menagerie, the wicked doppelgängers of the Zoo Crew, would need to be returned to their world. But that would have to wait until their world had a prison strong enough to hold them. (*) It was all in a day's work for our carrot-powered hero.
[(*) Editor's note: See Captain Carrot and the Zoo Crew: The Dark Side of the Crew.]
Duck G. Ordano maintained an air of unwavering confidence, though even he couldn't completely hide the jitters brought on by Mr. Wombat's fiery stare.
Mr. Wombat, not one to mince words, barked, "All right, you two, park your tail feathers and take a seat!" He then turned his attention to the entire gathering. "As you're aware, BC Comics is hurtling toward its fiftieth anniversary, and we've been hashing out plans for one heck of a celebration. Rodney, you've been gallivanting in Los Antelopes, blissfully unaware of our brainstorming sessions. Allow me to bring you up to speed.
"In short, our comic-book multiverse has become more tangled than a spool of yarn after a kitten's visit! We've got more versions of our mainstay characters -- Super-Squirrel, Batmouse, the Crash, Green Lambkin, and Wonder Wabbit -- than there are pigeons in Central Park! Not to mention the entire menagerie of parallel worlds spawned from five decades of storytelling, plus the acquisitions from Faucet, Quackity, and Churlton Comics. What I propose is a massive simplification of the BC Universe. I've got a harebrained scheme to cull the herd, so to speak, by trimming down the roster and refocusing on our core lineup. And Rodney, you, as our most realistic artist, will be the one to illustrate this bold move!"
Is he really talking about killing off our characters? Rodney's mind raced faster than a caffeine-fueled roadrunner. And if so, which characters could he possibly mean?
***
Rodney Rabbit, our intrepid artist/writer, couldn't shake the feeling of unease as he emerged from the meeting with Mr. Wombat. The president had unveiled his so-called "utterly brilliant" plan to "sim-pli-fy" the convoluted BC Universe. Rodney had also been introduced to the writer of the controversial twelve-issue moxie-series set to turn the comic world on its fluffy tail, Marv Wolfmane. Rodney was severely disturbed as Wolfmane literally giggled while describing the death-throes of Supersquirrelle in great detail. It was unsettling, to say the least.
But what truly troubled Rodney, on a deeply personal level, was the talk of offing the Crash and Wonder Wabbit and replacing them with shiny, new versions. It left him flabbergasted. Didn't they understand? Didn't they care? They couldn't possibly fathom that the Crash, Wonder Wabbit, Supersquirrelle, and the entire BC Universe were real.
Oh yes, they were very real, existing in a world not entirely dissimilar from his own, just with a few eccentric twists. On Earth-C, the heroic era had kicked off in the 1940s with the grand debut of heroes like the Terrific Whatzit. Meanwhile, Earth-C-Minus, a parallel world just a hop away, didn't usher in its heroic age until nearly twenty years later with the advent of the Crash.
Rodney had crossed paths with the legendary Just'a Lotta Animals and had even worked with them as Captain Carrot. Now, his publisher and editor were scheming to alter their world irrevocably. Rodney wanted no part in it, yet he couldn't stomach the notion of handing over his beloved creations to someone else's whims.
While other renowned writers and artists were perpetually pushing the creative boundaries, Rodney remained dedicated to crafting comic-books that were unadulterated fun and wholesomeness, tailor-made for his legion of young readers. After all, there was no greater honor than tickling a reader's funny bone or inspiring their imagination, one chuckle at a time.
Rodney Rabbit had a knack for keeping his friends on Earth-C-Minus safe from death and heartache over the years. He reminisced about the time Mr. Wombat, fresh off watching a Prairiedog Mason rerun, had dialed him up with a peculiar request. Mr. Wombat's idea was to cook up a murder trial storyline, featuring none other than Professor Vroom, the Reverse-Crash, offing the Crash's wife, Ibis Wett, leading to a whirlwind of emotional turmoil for Barry Shellen. Yet, Rodney had other plans. Instead of a gruesome demise, he faked Ibis' death, allowing her to make a triumphant return once Mr. Wombat's legal drama phase had passed. The couple then jetted off on a well-deserved vacation to the thirtieth century.
More recently, Mr. Wombat had stumbled upon the movie title -- just the title, not the actual movie, mind you -- The Last Steerfighter, which sparked yet another eccentric idea. He rang up Rodney, envisioning a chaotic scenario where Wool Jordan loses his marbles and wipes out the entire Green Lambkin Corps and the Goat-Guardians of the Universe on planet Uh-Oa. Only one Goat-Guardian would survive the culling to pass the torch, er, power ring, to a fledgling comic-book artist named Kyle Ramner. Rodney, however, weaved a different tale, attributing the madness to a wacky fever dream and sending Wool Jordan on an Honor Guard tour of duty on Uh-Oa. John Sheepwart temporarily stepped in as the Green Lambkin on Earth during Wool's absence.
But when Mr. Wombat's calls kept coming, Rodney resorted to letting them go to voicemail. The latest movie title that had caught Mr. Wombat's fancy was The Warrior-herds, and he wanted Rodney to inject some teenage pizzazz into the Just'a Lotta Animals. His vision? Swap out the seasoned heroes with trendy, youthful counterparts and have them rule the streets of Beetroit from their new headquarters. Rodney conveniently "lost" the message and waited for Mr. Wombat's obsession to fizzle out. The Just'a Lotta Animals continued business as usual.
Rodney couldn't ignore the nagging feeling that he needed to intervene again this time. As he knew, all those events had taken place on Earth-Reverse-C just as he had drawn them on the page. Perhaps, he thought to himself, he could do something about this, too.
He clutched the script for the first few issues penned by Wolfmane and held it close as he made his way back to the airport. Back home, a plan was forming in his mind. Captain Carrot would swing into action. He just hoped he wasn't too late to save the day -- not to mention the sanity of the Just'a Lotta Animals and that of the rest of the Earth-C-Minus super-heroes.***The Z-Building, Follywood, Califurnia, two weeks ago:
Rodney, the rabbit super-hero known to all as Captain Carrot, leaned across the table, the dimly lit room casting dramatic shadows on his furry face. Two mysterious figures, shrouded in secrecy and mystery, had answered his clandestine summons. His meticulous plans had led them here, just as ink met paper to script this peculiar rendezvous.
"Do you two catch my drift?" Rodney inquired, his voice a mix of hope and desperation. Traveling to other dimensions had been as tricky as chasing your tail, but he clung to the belief that his schemes would bear fruit.
"Got it," assured one of them.
"Crystal clear," said the other with a more confident voice.
Rodney unfurled several hand-drawn, ink-stained pages across the table, his beady, bespectacled eyes locking onto his enigmatic guests. "I'll only be able to pull this rabbit out of the hat if you whisk away the chosen ones, both heroes and villains, far from the impending showdown. And remember, you guys owe me big time."
"You have our word," the first voice vowed.
"We won't spill the beans," the second voice added with resolve.
Rodney leaned in, his whiskers twitching with determination. "Bear in mind, I'll ensure no one else meets a premature end. But it's got to go off without a hitch, or it'll be a catastrophe. Keep your lips sealed, even from your own 'partners in crime.' The Zoo Crew can't sniff out a whiff of this plan, either. It's got to look like it just sprouted out of nowhere."
"We're on it," the second voice promised.
Rodney let out a sigh. "I'm praying I've got it all wrong, but considering the crazy coincidences in my Just'a Lotta Animals comics, I'm betting it will all happen just as it's laid out on these pages... more or less." He waved his paw, gesturing dramatically at the comic-book scripts before him. "Well, you've got your orders. Don't let this bunny down, fellas."
"We won't," vowed the first voice, disappearing in a blur of crimson.
"Thanks for saving my bacon, Rodney," the second voice chimed in before taking flight in a radiant green glow.
Rodney watched them vanish into the night sky, mumbling to himself, "Let's hope saving our worlds is as simple as saving my career if my boss ever sniffs out what I'm doing."
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Post by DocQuantum on Jul 5, 2017 5:31:16 GMT
Chapter 1: Gathering the Flock
by Doc Quantum, Starsky Hutch 76, Marc Drayer, and Vamphunter69
Now:
The Tele-bellies were a happy little group. Nothing bad ever happened on their world. Never ever ever.
They just ran around, playing and making happy, cooing noises all day long.
Playing and looking at the happy little programs that would pop up in the television screens that they had in their bellies for some unknown reason.
Even the sun was happy. It laughed all the time.
Inky Winky and the others loved it when the sun laughed.
Then one day, a funny-looking, strangely garbed creature popped up.
"You're all in danger!" cried the bad-smelling skunk wearing a hooded green cloak. "You must listen to me! I'm Pewriah. I've come to warn you!"
Suddenly, for the first time the Tele-bellies could remember, the sun started crying.
"Oh, no!" the strange creature cried as he disappeared. "I'm too late!"
Inky Winky turned and saw a bright wall of pure white moving toward them, eating up everything in its path. "Uh-oh..."
***
Earth-Reverse-C:
Dr. Horton Hoot, dressed in a battle-suit of his own design, flew over his world. The science-hero and leader of the super-hero team known as the Virtue Menagerie carefully regarded the panicked crowds below him and knew that this very might well be the end of their world. Oblivion was upon them, and he needed to rush home to his darling wife and their newborn son.
The skies had become red days ago, and now a wall of pure white had begun to approach their world. Only a force-field powered partly by chronal energy, of all things, had proven effective in slowing the wall down. But he hadn't managed to fully stop it. If he didn't come up with something soon, he was sure that his entire world would be consumed faster than the last piece of cherry pie at a backyard barbecue.
The Virtue Menagerie had been forced to make a difficult decision once they realized that their powers would be ineffective against the destruction that faced it. They decided to release the Nasty Menagerie, that vile band of super-criminals led by Ultra-Rabbit, in the hopes that their own sense of self-preservation would be enough to make them fight for their world. But even the combined might of the heroes and villains alike had proven futile, though not for their lack of trying.
The owl looked below and watched as, even in the face of certain defeat, these former foes of his worked hand in hand with his allies to try to save their world. If only it hadn't taken the impending destruction of everything they knew for them to give a hoot.
Minutes later, Hoot soared back to the nest that he shared with his beloved wife Samantha. Horton Hoot's romance with Samantha Drake had been the stuff of legends. The two lovebirds had decided to tie the knot just before they rallied their team of feathered and furred champions to rebuild their world. That had been needed after the Zoo Crew of Earth-C had helped them save their planet from the Nasty Menagerie. Samantha had recently become a mom-to-be, having laid a beautiful egg just a few days ago. Assuming it was a boy, they planned to name him Horton Hoot Junior once he cracked out. Papa Horton was determined to ensure his little owlet would survive, even if their world turned into an overcooked omelet.
"It's only a matter of time now," Horton lamented as Samantha waddled out to meet him, cradling the egg in her arms. "My force-field won't hold out much longer."
"You and I have been as lucky as a rabbit with four-leaf clover shoes," drawled Samantha Drake Hoot, her eyes moist as she blinked a tear down her beak. "We found each other and made every moment count. But what about Junior? Will he miss out on all the fun stuff we had?"
Horton stared into Samantha's eyes and had an epiphany. "Follow me, love. There's still a chance."
In the other room, Horton approached a peculiar contraption. It looked like a toaster had mated with a cosmic pager, but it was their best shot at reaching their pals on Earth-C, or so he hoped. He'd already fired off three of these gadgets into the inter-dimensional abyss and received zilch in response, but hope springs eternal, after all. Maybe this one would work.
Moments later, as the fowl couple watched, the cosmic toaster-pager-thingie shot into the sky and disappeared through the dimensions in a brilliant burst of glittering energy that would put George Lupus to shame.
"It's the end of our world, love, and all I can think of is how lucky I am to have you," said Horton, sealing the moment with a kiss, even as their universe transformed into a blank canvas of cosmic nothingness around them.
The beacon itself did escape in time, its passenger egg hidden safely inside, but no one could say if it would reach its destination.
The cosmic toaster-pager, with the precious egg cargo, successfully escaped the chaos, hurtling through the multiverse, its destination uncertain.
***
High above Earth-C, a comically oversized satellite orbited, like a metallic cheese wheel in the cosmic deli of the universe.
"It's time, Lulu. It's time to gather the flock and turn my ingenious plan into reality. You know the drill."
Lulu, a perky bunny with yellow hair and a penchant for red dresses, furrowed her brow. "I get it, Uncle, but why don't we just round up the biggest, baddest heroes from all the Earths? Captain Carrot, Super-Squirrel, and Marvel Bunny, for starters! Heck, why not everyone whose name starts with 'Super' or 'Atomic'?"
"My dear Lulu, I've crunched the numbers and calculated that a mix of heroes and villains, with abilities ranging from 'meh' to 'whoa,' gives us the best shot."
Lulu shrugged, her bunny ears flopping with indifference. "You're the boss, Uncle."
"All right, Lulu, hit the button!"
In a flash of light, Lulu was enveloped, then transported to a lower chamber pulsating with cosmic energy. She exploded into multiple duplicates of herself, each donning red and blue armor. Lulu had transformed into the Harebringer, and like a bunch of overexcited Energizer bunnies, her clones scattered in all directions.
"As her hare-raising mission kicks off, so does mine," said the one called Uncle. "I've been people-watching across dimensions for months, but as my plans unravel, I can't help but second-guess myself. Still, I know the future must unfold as it will." He tapped a button on a futuristic contraption. "Bring me the Hoot child. It's time."
***
Pewriah's inter-dimensional adventures had taken him to countless bizarre places, but the last thing he expected was to land in a place that felt strangely familiar, yet entirely bizarre.
It was a school art room -- a whirlwind of paintbrushes, glue sticks, and scattered glitter. Children's artwork adorned the walls, showcasing a vibrant array of colorful dinosaurs. Pewriah couldn't help but smile at the creative chaos that surrounded him, a brief respite from the endless horror his unending life had become.
However, his moment of tranquility was shattered when he looked out the window to the school playground. It was a playground like any other, except for one strange difference. Three dinosaurs frolicked on the playground, each one more peculiar than the last. There was a vivid purple one, a vibrant green one, and a sunny yellow one. He rubbed his eyes, wondering if he'd entered some kind of alternate dino dimension.
Scratching his head, he muttered to himself, "Odd, but I don't remember any purple, green, or yellow dinosaurs like that."
Curiosity got the better of him, and he squinted through the window once more. To his sheer horror, a colossal wall of pure white began sweeping across the playground like a snowstorm in summer. Panic surged through Pewriah as he realized the innocent-looking purple dinosaur and his friends were in grave danger.
Without a second thought, he fumbled for the window lock, desperately trying to unlock it. But alas, it was one of those windows that seemed to resist being opened at the most crucial moments. Pewriah muttered a few choice words under his breath as he struggled, finally managing to wrestle it open.
As he leaped out onto the playground, he yelled, "Watch out! Don't go near that white stuff!"
The purple dinosaur turned his head, his eyes wide with surprise. "Well, golly gee! I wasn't expectin' any help from a new friend today! My name's Barney! Who might you be?"
Pewriah, trying to maintain his composure amidst the madness, replied, "I-I am Pewriah, and I have seen countless worlds die. I couldn't just stand by and let it happen again."
Barney chuckled heartily. "Aw, shucks! You're a real hero, Pewriah, even if you do kinda smell bad! Hee-hee! But we got ourselves a teensy problem here. This here's my friends, Baby Bop and BJ, and they just can't resist playin' in snow."
Sure enough, Baby Bop, the green dinosaur, and BJ, the yellow dinosaur, were gleefully rolling in slow motion toward the rapidly approaching wall of white. Pewriah blinked in disbelief.
"Y-you mean to tell me they think that white wall of nothingness is... snow?!" Pewriah asked, incredulous.
Barney nodded with a grin. "Yep! Snow, or somethin' close to it, like a blizzard! Kids are mighty imaginative, you know!"
Pewriah stifled an existential scream. "Well, this is quite the pickle, Barney. I need to get you and your pals out of here before they're lost in that... 'blizzard'."
Barney clapped his hands together. "That's mighty kind of you, Pewriah! But we'll need some creative thinkin' to get 'em outta this. I think this calls for a song!"
Baby Bob and BJ stopped hurtling toward oblivion and began to cheer and clap.
"After all, singin' is my specialty! Let's give it a try," said Barney.
"I love you...
You love me...
We're a happy family...
With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you...
Won't you say you love me, too?"
As Pewriah watched in horror, the wall of whiteout reaching the edge of the swing set, disintegrating it into the very atoms it was composed of, the dinosaurs each held hands, and the song picked up its pace.
"I love you...
You love me...
We're best friends like friends should be...
With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you...
Won't you say you lo-o-ove meee, toooooo?"
But by the time Pewriah was drawn away to yet another bleak destination, all he could hear was the sound of his own screaming as the friendly dinosaurs were eaten up by the white doom.
***
Earth-C:
One of the Harebringer's separate bodies rushed over a mountainous landscape toward a campground where a fire was burning. Around it were five small tents, while a tour bus was parked a few feet away.
A tall, gangly figure sat regarding the fire, shifting uncomfortably in the seat, which was obviously made for a much smaller being. Looking at the mutt sitting next to him, he said wistfully, "There's no place like home, huh, Toto?"
"Who da hell you callin' Toto?" replied the mutt. "Th' name's Jack. Jack C. Spaniel. An' I'm along ta drive yer specially chartered tour bus, not listen to yer racket. Now pass me another beer, an' shuddup."
The tall figure shrugged his shoulders and said, "Never mind."
At that moment, Harebringer lit up the area with her glow and landed on the ground next to the fire. "Merryman, we have need of you," she said in a formal voice.
Myron Victor looked up and adjusted the glasses perched over his all-too-human nose as he saw the armored rabbit. "Who are you? And how did you know I was here, anyway? Did Captain Carrot send you?" Merryman of the Inferior Five knew had kept in touch with the Zoo Crew since ever they found themselves stranded on Earth-C last October, but they certainly hadn't kept them abreast of all their movements during their travels.
"Uncle knows all," explained Harebringer. "Come with me, Merryman. A great adventure awaits!"
"What's all that racket?" shouted someone from inside one of the tents. "I'm tryin' to sleep here!" But as Herman Cramer, alias the Blimp of the Inferior Five, pulled down the zipper and looked out, all he saw was his friend and team leader, suddenly back in his jester-inspired purple costume, disappear with a strange bunny. "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle."
"Hey, I resent that, ya hairless ape!" shouted Jack Spaniel. "I happen ta be a monkey's uncle!"
"But aren't you a dog?" asked the Blimp.
"My sister married a monkey, ya fat jerk!"
"Y'know, you really oughtta work on your anger issues."
"You oughtta work on shuttin' up," growled Jack.
The Blimp went back into his tent. Whatever was going on, he'd probably find out all about it in the morning.
***
The Canine-Feline World:
In the fur-tastic world of Canine-Feline, the bustling capital city of this alien planet was alive with critter capers. High above, the auburn-furred Cocker Spaniel super-heroine, Lady Bird-Dog, soared through the night sky, making it look as graceful as a cat on a hot tin roof.
"What's brought me here?" she pondered aloud. "It's not my fellow Space Canine Patrol Agents this time. I sense a new and unfamiliar presence. Huh?"
Lady Bird-Dog's keen eyes locked onto a vibrant light twinkling in the inky darkness. That light was singing her name louder than a fire hydrant on a summer's day. It vanished quicker than a squirrel in a game of hide-and-seek, but nobody could escape Lady Bird-Dog. She could track down a lost Milk Bone in the G'newtian asteroid belt blindfolded.
With a graceful descent, she found herself in the gloomy, garbage-strewn alleyways of the neglected Gloomy Gutter neighborhood. "Easier than chasing cars," she quipped to herself. "Though I rarely visit here -- wouldn't want to catch mange, of course."
Lady Bird-Dog landed on the grungy street, her perky ears twitching with anticipation. "Who are you? What do you want?" she called out, trying to ignore the alley cats and stray dogs that stared back at her with dull, noncommittal expressions.
As she confidently strolled down the narrow alley, she thought, No answer? Fine, I'll play along. Arriving at a concealed entrance where she was sure the mysterious light had vanished, she tapped the access buttons, ready for anything -- or so she thought.
Suddenly, an arm shot through the solid door as if it wasn't there, grabbing her paw in a surprising twist, and a mysterious voice echoed, "Lady Bird-Dog, I need your help. Come with me!"
Startled and not one to be outdone, she barked, "Who--?"
In a blink of an eye, the astute tracker from the Dog Star vanished, leaving behind nothing but a flurry of feathers and a captivating mystery.
***
"He said he loved me," Pewriah cried; he did so often after being shanghaied to so many dying worlds. "No one ever says they love me. Heck, no one's ever even glad to see me! Poor, purple dinosaur."
Suddenly, he appeared in what looked like a desert. He looked down the road and saw a roadrunner barreling toward him.
"I've come to wa--" he started just before the roadrunner cried "meep meep" and ran over him.
He had just started to get to his feet when a coyote riding on what looked like a giant bottle rocket with the word Acme printed on the side came flying toward him. The coyote pulled out a sign from seemingly nowhere that read, Excuse me.
Pewriah called out, "Wait! Put aside your petty differences! You're in danger!"
Without missing a beat, the coyote pulled out two more signs: Can't talk now, followed by, It's dinnertime.
Pewriah began to vanish. "No! Not now--!"
The wall of white began to appear in front of the road runner. "Meep mee--"
The coyote pulled out another sign as his rocket flew toward it, which said, Gulp!
***
The Z-Building, Follywood, Califurnia, Earth-C:
It had been an eventful month for Captain Carrot and his amazing Zoo Crew. More killers for hire had tried to collect on Fat Kat's bounty on the Zoo Crew, and the heroes had faced more hitmen than a celebrity tomato on the red carpet, but they always managed to hop away from danger. (*) The team had also learned that a shadowy figure with a penchant for chaos known only as Uncle had been stirring the pot by arming these bumbling bounty hunters and super-villains. It had turned life into a whirlwind lately, and they were all a little on edge.
[(*) Editor's note: See Captain Carrot and the Zoo Crew: Open Season.]
Now, on a clear night atop the Z-Building, Stormwing, the dashing pterodactyl with a knack for weather control, and Mystery Mink, the vivacious minx with a love for riddles and mysteries, gazed up at the stars. It was a perfect evening for these two lovebirds.
"Did you catch that?" said Stormwing, the newest member of the Zoo Crew, his wings twitching with excitement. "Looked like a shooting star. A really bright one, too."
Mandra Mynxbynd purred, leaning into Stormwing's embrace. "You know what I adore about you, Stormy?"
His eyes twinkled with curiosity. "What's that, Mandy?"
"When you hug me, you really spread your wings, wrapping yourself around me," she cooed.
"Well, darling, when you've got it, you've got it," Terry Dactyl said, enveloping her in his leathery embrace. He couldn't help but feel a flutter in his prehistoric heart. Clutching a small box in his scaly pocket, Terry looked at her with eager anticipation. "There's something I've been meaning to ask you, Mandy."
"What could that be, Terry?" said Mandra with a sly grin.
A frosty breeze swept over the Z-Building, making Stormwing's feathers ruffle. He looked around, shivering in the sudden chill. "Has it gotten colder than a penguin's picnic all of a sudden?" he exclaimed. He hadn't planned on bringing up the weather, but something was definitely fishy. Ice was creeping up around the Z-Building, and it was the middle of July in Los Antelopes.
Stormwing flexed his weather-controlling muscles, attempting to summon a scorching heatwave. To his bewilderment, the ice stubbornly persisted despite Terry's fiery efforts. "I don't get it," the Winged Weather Wizard muttered. "It's like the cold is stronger than my hottest moves."
"Allow me to lend a paw, lover-wings," said Mystery Mink, unleashing her sizzling heat powers. But even their combined efforts couldn't put a dent in the relentless ice.
"Looks like we're in hot water here," Stormwing grumbled, reaching for his trusty Zoo Crew emergency beeper.
But before the Cretaceous Climate-Controller could dial for help, a bone-chilling blast froze them in their tracks. A frosty figure emerged, clad in high-tech armor equipped with freeze-lasers and jet-propelled heels.
"Sorry to freeze your plans," said Cold Turkey, his villainous demeanor colder than an Arctic ice cream parlor. With a swift motion, he grabbed the frozen duo. I have to remember to thank the Alpha-Bull for the updates he made on my gear, the Frigid Fowl silently added to himself. He's definitely earned his fifty percent of the bounty and his chance to finish off Stormwing, and I might be able to get something for his companion as well, whoever she is.
Suddenly, the very same shooting star that had caught Stormwing's eye earlier landed on the Z-Building's roof, catching Cold Turkey off guard.
"Who do you think you are?" the villain demanded.
"None of your snowy business," retorted Harebringer, appearing before them in a flash of cosmic brilliance. "I've come for these two."
"Over my frozen body, lady!" Cold Turkey bellowed, taking aim with his freeze-lasers, only to find they had no effect on the enigmatic newcomer. "Blasted junk! Alpha-Bull, you lousy swindler!" he grumbled, tossing his malfunctioning gear aside.
Harebringer stood her ground as Cold Turkey lunged at her, passing right through her like a chilly ghost. The villain soared off the roof, plummeting to a frosty fate below. As he lost consciousness, Harebringer vanished, taking the still-frozen heroes with her to thaw out at their destination.
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Post by DocQuantum on Jul 5, 2017 5:33:19 GMT
Chapter 2: The Cosmic Callby Doc Quantum, GDL 629 19136, and ComickookNew Yak City, Earth-C, 1942:In the bustling heart of New Yak City a war bond rally was in full swing. The young rhinoceros in charge of the event breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks so much for bringing all this food, Ma," she said to a matronly, white-feathered mother hen named Ma Henkel. "After the caterers called and said the oven broke down halfway through cooking the meals, I was worried we would never have enough food to make this rally a success."Surveying the crowd of young people, service-animals, and civilians dancing to the swingin' tunes of Benny Good-dog, Ma Henkel patted the rhinoceros on the back. "Don't you worry about it none, dear," she clucked reassuringly. "Whenever yer in a pinch, just call Ma! Excuse me now, dear. Got to check on the pie."In the bustling kitchen, Ma bent over to inspect the oven, her beak twitching with anticipation. Suddenly, a mysterious voice spoke to her."Red-Hen Tornado, we need you. Come with me."Startled, Ma straightened up, her feathers ruffled in surprise. "What th'?" she muttered to herself. "Someone called me by my mystery-animal name -- revealed my secret identity! It better not have been one o' them Cyclone Kids!"Whipping around, Ma expected to see her daughter, Sisty, and her little friend, Dinky, or maybe even Dinky's older brother, Scribbly the colt cartoonist. To her astonishment, it was a yellow bunny decked out in blue and red armor."Who are yuh?" demanded Ma, puffing up her feathers. "How'd yuh know who I am?""Ma Henkel, I am Harebringer, and we need you," declared the bunny. "Your planet is imperiled.""Don't I know it?" retorted Ma, her eyes narrowing. "With Uncle Adolph and his Ratzis goose-steppin' all over Europe, we could use all the help we can get!" She glanced around and noticed that no one was moving, and Benny Good-dog's music had come to a screeching halt. "Hey, what'd you do to all these people?""I need the Red-Hen Tornado," insisted Harebringer, and in the blink of an eye, Ma Henkel found herself transformed into her familiar super-hero persona. She was now the Red-Hen Tornado, sporting her red long-johns, a yellow sleeveless shirt, green gym shorts, yellow slippers, and a metal pail over her head with two slits cut out for her eyes and an upside-down V cut out for her beak. (*)[(*) Editor's note: See Scribbly and the Red Tornado, All-American Comics #59 (July, 1944).]"Muh costume?!" squawked the Red-Hen Tornado. "Hey, how'd you do that?""Please come with me, Tornado, and all will be clear."A bit skeptical but also intrigued, the Red-Hen Tornado shrugged her feathery shoulders. "Don't know why I should trust ya, but I do," she clucked, extending her winged hand to the bunny. As their paws met, they both vanished in a dazzling burst of light, leaving the befuddled rally-goers behind.***"Yewww eeediot!"As usual, it was a bright and cheery day for the put-upon asthma hound chihuahua. He came home from a hard day at work filling dad's boots full of coleslaw, and reminding children of their pledge to wear unwashed lederhosen every day for the rest of their natural lives. The last thing he needed was to come home to this.His co-resident, or pal, or whatever the network censors would allow, had decimated the entire house."My collection of petrified dinosaur droppings... painted like Easter eggs!"His rage was boiling."My statue of the Holy Shaven Yak -- desecrated with a mustache painted on, and wearing a tutu!"The anger built up like shaving scum in the bachelor's bathroom sink."My bound collection of Powdered Toast Man anecdotes... used for toilet paper!" The sleeper had awakened."AAAIIIYYYEEEHHH!" Ren screamed. "Steeempyyy... I will... bathe in your... blood!"Stimpson J. Cat cowered in the corner, fearful of what might come next."Rrrennn... duhhh... I'm sorryyy-yyy!" the dim-witted kitty savant cried out in hopes of leniency.Just then, they heard a strange sound coming from outside their split-level hovel.Ren and Stimpy gazed out the window, where they saw a skunk running around, proclaiming Armageddon."Heed the words of Pewriah!" yelped out the Goth-mentality skunk, waving his upper paws furiously."Ugh... heed the smell, and take a bath, yewww feelthy worm!" said Ren, pinching his dried-up snout.Powdered Toast Man then descended from the sky, ever at the ready to defend justice for all. The big hero gazed at the girlishly shrieking Pewriah and thrust out his hand in a decidedly Jack Kirby-like fashion."Leave everything to me!"Just then, a giant wall of white energy began eating the world. Powdered Toast Man turned pale white."...mommy..." he squeaked.As the wall of whitewash headed for the hapless Powdered Toast Man, Ren suddenly hit upon an idea. He went outside with Stimpy, and began slapping the bejeezus out of the simpering skunk."Yeeewww eeediot! Yeeewww brought theeese heeere... deeed'nt Yeeewww?! I... will... keeell... yeeewww!"Stimpy tried in vain to restrain his perturbed pal from pummeling the hapless harbinger of sorrow. "R-r-rennn... that's... not... niiice!""Shut up, Steeempy! Yewww bloated sack!"Powdered Toast Man grabbed hold of Pewriah. "Save us!" cried the brave, fearless, virile, bedwetting Powdered Toast Man.Ren turned his wrath upon the hero. "Yewww spineless ceeenamon charlatan!"However in this case, Ren's anger proved to be the salvation of the three last living inhabitants of their world. For as they held onto Pewriah, they went with him as the whiteout wall swept over the land in a reign of violence, terror, and torture that made for a smashing film.Muddy Mudskipper sat, waiting for the end. "Ya lousy bums! Ya leave me here?!"Then he laughed shrilly to end his moments.***In the peculiar world of Beantown, where reality played by its own whimsical rules, the arrival of Harebringer signaled a shift in the lives of two unexpected heroes. Ch'p, the young Monk, and Doctor Ub'x, his older companion, had been traversing through bizarre dimensions since they ventured through the enigmatic sky-hole. (*) These realms defied reality, leaving the poor power ring they carried in a constant state of bewilderment. It was like a cosmic GPS that insisted on taking scenic routes to the edge of the universe.[(*) Editor's note: See Tales of the Green Lantern Corps: Ch'p: Monk on a Mission.]The power ring had been their shield against ogres, dragons, and a host of other bizarre creatures. Yet, every time Ch'p attempted to use it for a return trip, it would fizzle out like a dud firecracker at a squirrel picnic. These dimensions didn't just bend the laws of physics; they tied them in knots and played jump rope with them.Beantown, for example, was a place where you could nonchalantly walk off a rooftop or cliff without plummeting to your doom until you dared to glance downward. Then, physics came rushing in, and down you tumbled. But, remarkably, no one seemed to actually die from these falls. People just bounced back like rubber balls, which made Ch'p and Doctor Ub'x ponder whether death had ever been invited to this party.The quirky anthropomorphic animals of Beantown welcomed them warmly, especially the Mayor, a rooster who punctuated his endless speeches with clucks. After vanquishing a colossal bully that had plagued Beantown for eons, Ch'p had been crowned the Sheriff, a title that echoed through the town with every cluck. Doctor Ub'x, with his knack for scientific curiosity, became the town's Doctor, though his patients' ailments vanished like phantom sneezes.Life in Beantown was amiable, despite its oddity, and the Sheriff and Doctor felt no urge to dive back into those confounding sky-holes. These rabbit holes of dimensions had taken them from the frying pan into the furnace one too many times.But as Harebringer materialized in the Doctor's office while the Sheriff paid his old friend a visit, the cosmos beckoned them once more."Green Lantern Ch'p, Doctor Ub'x, you are needed to save the universe," declared Harebringer, her sudden appearance electrifying the room.Ch'p and Doctor Ub'x exchanged knowing glances, shedding their titles as effortlessly as a snake sheds its skin. Grinning like mischievous chipmunks, they realized what they truly missed: adventure. With a decisive nod, the once-enemies-now-friends accepted the cosmic call."Let's go!" Ch'p exclaimed, his heart racing with the thrill of the unknown.***In the whimsical world of Earth-L, much like Earth-C but with its own quirky quirks, Harebringer soared across the sky. This world was under the quirky protection of the Looney Society of Toomerica, a team of heroes who had been saving the day for decades. Today, though, Harebringer had a peculiar task: snatch a single costumed criminal. Uncle's orders.Uncle had a plan, or so she hoped, because navigating Uncle's cryptic instructions was like trying to teach a goldfish to tap dance. She yearned for more details, but Uncle was the king of the "need-to-know basis," and it drove her absolutely bonkers.Suddenly, a shadowy figure swooped at her, startling Harebringer. She recognized the face and blurted out, "You?!" But it was too late, and the shadowy specter was faster than a caffeinated cheetah. It merged with her, causing a momentary jolt of agony before she blacked out.With newfound determination, she headed toward her destination. However, her once-furry features had frozen into an expression of stern determination, and her bright blue eyes had transformed into soulless pools of darkness.Moments later, Harebringer materialized inside a padded cell at the looney bin. In the corner sat a forlorn green-feathered parrot in a straitjacket with an oversized yellow beak, muttering to himself. "They call me crazy? I'm as sane as anyone! Now that Heathcliff -- he was a real dope. I still can't believe they let him inherit all that moolah." (*)[(*) Editor's note: See "Dough Ray Me-ow" (1948 Warner Bros. cartoon).]"Louie?" she said, her voice taking on an otherworldly chill. "Your powers are needed to help save the universe.""Why don't you call the Looney Society of Toomerica, lady?" Louie squawked. "They're the ones who like to help people. I've only ever been in it for numero uno -- Louie!""It is not the Looney Society I want, but you, Louie," Harebringer declared, her determination palpable."Ahhh... unless you're here to deliver some crackers, leave me alone.""Turn around, Louie," demanded Harebringer.With a sigh, Louie the Parrot finally complied. What he saw before him left him flabbergasted. Hovering in the air was something he thought he'd never see again. "The Bird-Mask of Medusa!" Louie exclaimed. "You have it?""I have all you need," Harebringer stated crisply, willing the fabled bird-mask to float toward Louie's face. As it made contact, the straitjacket fell away, and Louie found himself back in his classic red-and-black-checkered costume. "Now let us go. The powers of Louie the Psycho-Parrot are needed!"With a flap of his wings and a twirl of his beak, Louie took flight, ready to embark on an adventure of cosmic proportions, even if it meant being a goody-goody for a change. After all, who could resist the allure of saving the universe?***In the zany world where anthropomorphic animals roamed, a crisis was brewing in the House of Mouse. The foul-tempered fowl was in a furious frenzy, his feathers fluffed to the max. The friendly little mouse in red shorts (who happened to be shirtless for the day), tried to calm the quacking tempest."Hey, uh, Donald, just calm down, okay?" Mickey's squeaky voice pleaded, but it fell on deaf duck ears. Donald was steaming, and it wasn't because of the sauna."Kwak-wak-wak-kwak-kwak-wak!"Donald's indignant outbursts echoed through the room. The reason for his feather-fluffing fury? Mickey had played patty-cake with Daisy, Donald's girlfriend. Oh, sure, Minnie had pampered Donald with the occasional webbed-toe massage from time to time, but this betrayal was fowl play of a different feather altogether."Kwaaak-kwooo! Waaakkk-waaak-waaak-waaakkk-waaakkk!""Hey, uh, Donald, why don'tcha put down that axe? Uhhh, I mean, Daisy asked for it..." Mickey stammered, his attempts at diplomacy falling as flat as a pancake at a turtle race.But just when things couldn't get more quackers, a peculiar stench wafted through the room."Yewww eeediot! What have yew done to us?" Ren Höek, Stimpy, and Powdered Toast Man all clung the trembling form of Pewriah, their tour guide through the end of creation."Heed the words of Pewriah -- your universe is doomed!" the Stinky Seer proclaimed."K-woah yeah! Kwaaakkk-waaak-waaak!" The deranged duckie, still wielding his mighty axe, now swung it menacingly toward the white-striped skunk.But lo and behold, it was none other than Powdered Toast Man who sprang into action, his powdered fists ready to protect the day's toast. With one swift move, he caught the axe, using Stimpy's ample posterior as an impromptu shield. "Leave everything to me! Powdered... Toast... Maaaannn!" he bellowed, his voice echoing with buttery valor."Oh, Jeeesus... now the ceeenamon one's awake!" complained the exasperated Ren.Just when the chaos seemed uncontrollable, Goofy stumbled upon the scene, mistaking the fracas for a dire threat against his friends Mickey and Donald. Sneaking off to an unobserved location, he removed his hat, which was full of glowing peanuts. Popping one of them into his mouth, Goofy instantly transformed into his far more powerful identity of Super Goof, leaping into the fray with newfound power.As the group squared off against one another, Pewriah, the Skunk of Doom, proclaimed, "Make no mistake, Super Goof, your friends are in dire danger -- but not from me or any of my travelling companions! If you wish to save them, you must pool your powers and courage with those of many other heroes and confront the multi-cosmic force that seeks to destroy all animalkind.""Gawrsh, if that's what it'll take to save all of animalkind, I'll do it," Super Goof declared without hesitation.***In the bustling city of Metropolis on Earth-Twelve, a turtle wearing a stylish grey hat and round spectacles gazed out of his office window. Spotting the enigmatic figure known as Harebringer, he couldn't help but jump to conclusions, despite knowing next to nothing about this formidable-looking bunny."Great Scott!" the turtle muttered to himself before swiftly sneaking out of his office. The turtle wasted no time, making a beeline for the nearest revolving door. With a speed that rendered him invisible to the naked eye, he wrestled to don his familiar red cape, adorned with the bold letters S.T. "This looks like a job for... Super-Turtle!"However, in his rush, Super-Turtle's cape became entangled in the unforgiving revolving door. It threatened to turn him into a hero-shaped pretzel before he finally wriggled free. Propelled by the door's momentum, the mature Tur-Tel from the lost planet Galapagon found himself burrowing underground, a spinning turtle torpedo on a mission.After tunneling about forty feet below the surface, Super-Turtle rocketed back into the open air. In hot pursuit of Harebringer, he confronted the bunny with a blend of determination and dizziness."Who are you, and what do you want? You're not one of those super-villains like Brainy-Yak, are you?" Super-Turtle inquired, trying to regain his composure."No, but you are needed to help us against the greatest villain of all time," Harebringer replied cryptically, her bunny ears twitching with anticipation."If the situation is that dire, then you can most definitely count on the aid of Super-Turtle!" the valiant turtle vowed, with every intention of living up to his name, even if it meant facing foes more perilous than revolving doors.
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Post by DocQuantum on Jul 5, 2017 20:33:09 GMT
To be continued!
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Post by redsycorax on Sept 20, 2018 0:54:56 GMT
What about Earth-One's Legion of Super Pets? Streaky, Krypto, Beppo, Comet and Proty II would naturally fit into this scenario. We know Krypto survived and Proty eventually became the Antarean ambassador to the United Planets, but what about the others? Did Streaky really lose his abilities when X-Kryptonite ceased to exist? It'd be interesting to see them show up somewhere in this context.
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Post by DocQuantum on Sept 20, 2018 0:56:39 GMT
That’s a fantastic idea. I will use it. Thanks!
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Post by redsycorax on Sept 20, 2018 23:00:02 GMT
Added to which, there's the non-Streaky supercat that showed up in the Animal Man Psycho Pirate story arc, who had the lightning marking but whose fur was grey. An AU Supercat? And of course, Streaky's thirtieth century descendant, Whizzy.
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Post by lawrenceliberty on Sept 21, 2018 17:32:30 GMT
I wonder if the old Hanna Barbara animal heroes like Atom Ant, Hong Kong Phooey, or the human Captain Caveman could fit in this story?
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shlomo
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Post by shlomo on Jul 15, 2021 12:51:14 GMT
So Earth-C is home of National/All-American's original funny animal comics? Does that mean Pig Iron really is Peter Porkchops of the forties? Then the Zoo Crew would be the equivalent of the Super Squad from the All-Star Comics revival, or Infinity Inc. in a way? (Minus legacy stuff)
This reminds me a bit of 'Mices on Infinite Earths' from the 90s Mighty Mouse comics. No doubt the 'Alpha Bull' Cold Turkey mentions is this crossover's Minotaur/Monitor.
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Post by DocQuantum on Jul 15, 2021 16:51:14 GMT
So Earth-C is home of National/All-American's original funny animal comics? Does that mean Pig Iron really is Peter Porkchops of the forties? Then the Zoo Crew would be the equivalent of the Super Squad from the All-Star Comics revival, or Infinity Inc. in a way? (Minus legacy stuff) This reminds me a bit of 'Mices on Infinite Earths' from the 90s Mighty Mouse comics. No doubt the 'Alpha Bull' Cold Turkey mentions is this crossover's Minotaur/Monitor. Yes, you’re right about the old funny comics being on Earth-C. I’ve been putting together a comprehensive reading list and will expand the Earth-C timeline with new info soon. I like the comparison with the Super Squad and Infinity, and the Mighty Mouse story is an indirect inspiration. When I’m done with some other projects on the go, I’ll have to pick up on this one again. |
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Post by starskyhutch76 on Jul 22, 2021 0:42:31 GMT
since there's an Earth C-, I wonder if there might be golden and silver age versions of characters like Peter Porkchop.
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Post by DocQuantum on Sept 16, 2023 9:35:03 GMT
Chapter 3: The Fur-Tastic Team
by Doc Quantum and Comickook
In the peculiar city of Duddtown on Earth-Zoo, the Mitey Buggers, a team of six animal super-heroes, were engaged in an intense game of seven-card stud in a dimly lit room. (*) These extraordinary critters were about to have their evening turned upside down. (*)
[(*) Editor's note: See "The Mitey Buggers," Charlton Bullseye v2 #6 (March, 1982).]
"So, I've got two three-of-a-kinds -- queens and jacks," declared Mucha Mouse, a brown-haired mouse with an orange shirt sporting a black lightning insignia. The team leader and most powerful member of the team placed his cards on the table, a sly grin on his face.
"My gosh. That certainly beats me. All I've got is two pair," Tadpole, the harmless-looking young frog in a winged metal hat patterned after his favorite comic-book hero, the Terrific Whatzit, admitted sheepishly, revealing his hand. "A pair of black nines and a pair of red nines."
"Well, it certainly doesn't beat my hand," boasted the Green Hornet, a scarf-clad winged hornet with a stinger on his face. "Four aces and three kings," he announced, causing a quick buzzing sound as he slammed down his cards.
"Cheat!" accused Lady Bug, a small female insect with the letters LB on her bosomy chest and a penchant for righteous indignation. Her wings buzzed with anger.
"Aw, come on," the Green Hornet protested, slamming his cards down. "You insult my honor. To imply that I would stoop to cheating in a friendly card game. Of all the nerve!"
"In that case, you won't mind us searching you for extra cards," declared the Blue Beetle, flying forward to defend his girlfriend. Like Lady Bug, he was a small bald insect with the letters BB on his chest.
"Absolutely. I would not mind at the slightest," the Green Hornet said calmly, though his buzzing wings gave away his irritation.
"Wait. My portable lie-detector says the Hornet is speaking the truth!" interjected Captain Bat, the rotund, cigar-chomping bat with a utility belt and a knack for gadgetry.
"Maybe that same super-lie-detector will verify my story when I tell you that a cosmic menace is coming, one that will require the efforts of every animal hero in existence to stop it," a mysterious female voice interrupted.
All eyes turned to the newcomer, a bunny clad in gleaming armor.
"Who are you, lady?" demanded Lady Bug, her voice laced with jealousy. She was not used to sharing the spotlight with another costumed super-heroine.
"I am Harebringer, and I've come for you, Lady Bug, as well as the Blue Beetle," Harebringer declared.
Captain Bat's lie-detector confirmed the bunny's honesty. "Whoever she is, she's telling the truth."
"Don't worry. We will stop this cosmic menace -- the Mitey Buggers -- all of us," Mucha Mouse declared, rising to his feet with unwavering determination. "Am I right, guys?"
"Yeah!" the others shouted in unison.
"Well, geez, if the situation is that dire," the Green Hornet sighed, "I suppose Duddtown will have to handle things without us for a few days."
"I'm sorry, but I only need Lady Bug and the Blue Beetle, and it is time for us to leave," Harebringer explained. With a touch, she whisked the two heroes away, leaving the others astounded.
"Well, how d'ya like them apples?" the Green Hornet mumbled, feeling a bit left out but ready for a card game rematch.
***
In a metallic cheese wheel satellite floating amidst the cosmic chaos, a deep voice reverberated through the cavernous interior.
"Yes, hurry back, Harebringer, for our enemy's plans are afoot," it declared with gravity. "Already another Earth has been consumed, and its heroes are unavailable to me. Lulu, when I found you floating on that wreckage as a child and raised you these past twenty years, never did I dream that you would be my killer!"
***
Meanwhile, down on Earth in a bustling city, a young dog with glasses, a cap, and a vest happened to overhear a desperate cry for help. Glancing at his watch, Shoe Shine Boy, who had just finished buffing up a customer's shoes (who, surprisingly, tipped rather generously), couldn't help but shake his head. "They're not wasting any time in causing trouble, are they?" With determination in his step, he dashed toward the nearest phone booth, determined to make a quick change.
After a struggle to find an unoccupied telephone booth, Shoe Shine Boy finally squeezed in. But before he could even start dialing, the booth exploded in a cloud of smoke and sparks. In the booth's place now stood a small dog, dressed in a red and blue costume that was at least two sizes too big for him.
"When the call for help is heard, I am not slow. It's hip, hip, hip, and away I go!" proclaimed the transformed canine, now known as Underdog, his newfound confidence radiating.
With the speed of a supersonic jet, Underdog soared through the skies and landed beside Pewriah, who stood next to a bizarre group. One was a massively muscled man with a head made entirely of toast, and another was a taller canine dressed in a similar costume to Underdog's, with the initials S.G. rather than U. Next to them were two bickering couples, a shivering chihuahua and a chubby Manx cat, along with a dark-furred rodent and a white-feathered duck in a sailor's outfit.
"I've come to warn you of an impending doom," Pewriah stated matter-of-factly. "Only by combining your might with that of others like yourself will you have any chance of defeating the impending disaster that threatens not just you, but all those you care about."
"When the fate of civilization is on the line, have no fear, Underdog is here!" the super-powered canine declared, striking a heroic pose that barely kept his ill-fitting costume from slipping off. With the promise of cosmic chaos and epic adventures ahead, this unlikely team of heroes prepared to face whatever challenges lay in store.
***
On the metallic cheese-wheel of a satellite, an unusual assembly of heroes found themselves transported, each brought here by the multiple incarnations of Harebringer. They were an eccentric bunch, to say the least.
A canine decked out in a gleaming suit of golden armor surveyed the motley crew before him. Jackson Retriever, in all his golden glory, couldn't help but feel like he'd stumbled into a bizarre costume party, unlike any he'd hosted at his mansion. He was pretty certain none of these characters had ever heard of the Golden Retriever before.
Merryman, sporting his trusty purple jester ensemble, adjusted his glasses as he peered at the assortment of strange, pint-sized critters. Despite having met a fair share of funny-animal inhabitants on Earth-C, he couldn't shake the feeling that his larger human presence made even these costumed animals feel out of place.
A blonde female duck soared above, encircled by a harmless halo of fire that mimicked wings. It was Feather Locklear, the Follywood actress-turned-super-heroine known as Duck Phoenix, on her exploration of the satellite. "This place seemed so tiny from the outside, but it's so much bigger on the inside!" she exclaimed. "It's like that tent at the end of the Beetles' Pelagical Fishery Tour!"
In the shadows lurked a massive, hairless, man-like creature, sporting nothing but a pair of grimy jeans held up by a single leather strap over one shoulder. Well, well, well, thought the creature, known as the Wuz-Wulf. The bunny warned me, didn't she, that several of these costumed do-gooders would be here, too. Still, I am the Wuz-Wulf, and I will have my meal before the day is done!
In a far corner, the Blue Beetle and Lady Bug sought refuge to avoid being trampled by the room's larger inhabitants. Blue Beetle, his voice tinged with uncertainty, asked, "Lady Bug, do you think this Harebringer is for real?"
Lady Bug responded with a wry grin, "If she isn't, Blue Beetle, then this is one heck of a practical joke!"
In a room filled with an eclectic assortment of super-heroes, the Red-Hen Tornado couldn't help but marvel at the bizarre characters surrounding her. She had been whisked several decades into the future, and the sight before her left her clucking with confusion.
As she made her rounds, Super-Turtle tried to strike up a conversation. "Red Tornado?" he queried, recognizing her as the Earth-C counterpart of a character from his own world. However, she continued to walk in silence, leaving him puzzled. "Timmy, she didn't answer," Super-Turtle said, turning to his companion.
Timmy the Timid Ghost was a spectral figure with only a white cloak, eyes, a mouth, arms, and two brown shoes, complete with a T insignia on his chest. "I th-think she's as spooked by all this as I am," Timmy stammered.
Meanwhile, a male cat called Ala-Kat-Zam, decked out in an elaborate outfit featuring red boots, yellow cuffs, jodhpurs, and more, couldn't help but be relieved by his relative obscurity. Outside of New Yak City, no one had heard of him or his magic wand, and Matt Mouser was grateful for the anonymity. Yet, a sense of impending evil gnawed at him, and he couldn't quite pinpoint its source.
Ch'p, wielding his power ring, scanned the ball-shaped satellite for its power source but came up empty-handed. He couldn't help but notice the uncanny resemblance between these strange animals and those from Beantown, even though Beantown was unaware of super-heroes at this time. Worse, he couldn't help but have a feeling of déjà vu, though he wasn't exactly sure why. Something about this setup was all too familiar.
Mystery Mink, intrigued by the gathering, turned to Terry Dactyl, also known as Stormwing, the new pterodactyl member of the Zoo Crew, for insight. "Do you know all these animals, Terry?" she inquired.
"I only recognize a couple of them from reading the archives," Stormwing replied. "There's Golden Retriever over there, actually millionaire Jackson Retriever. (*) And that guy in the red cowboy hat is Ala-Kat-Zam -- Abra once teamed up with him. (*) I think that flying bird over there is Duck Phoenix, another new hero. (*) I don't recognize the weird turtle knockoff of Super-Squirrel or that chipmunk Green Lambkin, though."
[(*) Editor's note: See Captain Carrot and the Zoo Crew: Easter Gifts, Easter Troubles, Matt Mouser, Ala-Kat-Zam: Wand and Wanda, and Duck Phoenix: Diva-ation.]
"Dr. Ub'x does not like to be kept waiting!" said Ch'p's erstwhile companion. The reformed beaver super-villain was dressed in his customary red cloak and carried at his side his powerful Sucker Stick. "I demand to see this 'Uncle' -- now!"
"Take it easy, Doc!" cried Ch'p. "I'm sure we'll see him soon enough. Just wish I could place my paw on why this setup seems so gosh-darned familiar!"
Suddenly, the Wuz-Wulf, who had been lurking in the shadows, issued a startling growl that sent shivers down everyone's spines. "You silly little fools!" growled the Wuz-Wolf. Darting his head around several times to look in every direction, he cried, "We're going to be attacked! I can feel it!"
His warning was punctuated by the appearance of a swarm of transparent gray beings swooping in from all directions.
"Good grief!" exclaimed Red-Hen Tornado. "Whut in th' Sam Quill are they?"
"They look like g-g-g-g-ghosts!" cried Timmy the Timid Ghost. "And not the friendly kind, neither!"
As the spectral assailants closed in, our motley crew of heroes prepared for a showdown with these unfriendly phantoms, all while trying to make sense of the chaos that had become their reality.
***
In his own universe, Hoppy the Marvel Bunny was putting the finishing touches on another wild adventure. With a blend of Monkury's lightning speed and Hogules' incredible strength, he had concocted a scheme involving alternate train tracks to redirect a rocket car straight into the arms of justice.
Just as Hoppy was about to zip off and change back into his civilian guise, a sudden arrival of heroes caught him by surprise. Pewriah, Powdered Toast Man, Super Goof, and Underdog, along with Ren, Stimpy, Mickey, and Donald, had descended upon the scene like a whirlwind of capes and chaos. Without wasting a moment, Pewriah, in his skunky splendor, got straight to the point.
"Listen up, Marvel Bunny," he declared urgently. "There's a monstrous menace looming on the horizon, and it's a threat to all of animalkind. We need you, just as you are now, to join forces with a league of heroic super-animals. Together, we might stand a chance against this epic peril."
Hoppy scratched his fluffy bunny chin, pondering the skunk's words. His urgency seemed genuine, and the way he delivered his message left little room for doubt. Besides, he couldn't resist the prospect of teaming up with his old friend Wonder Wabbit again. It had been ages since they last crossed paths, and with any luck, she'd moved on from her infatuation with that dashing but somewhat dense Captain Carrot.
"Very well, my mysterious but beleaguered friend," Hoppy declared in his most heroic tone, puffing out his bunny chest. "I shall heed the call and help you tackle this danger that threatens all animalkind. Let's hop to it!"
With that, Hoppy the Marvel Bunny joined the furry ranks of the impromptu super-hero team, ready to face whatever zany challenges and outrageous foes awaited them in the name of animal justice. Together, they were bound to create a fur-tastic team that would go down in funny animal super-hero history.
***
A horde of semi-transparent gray shadow ghosts had swarmed around our fearless heroes and the bewildered villains aboard the satellite. Confusion reigned as they tried to make sense of this spooky onslaught.
Lady Bird-Dog, showing off her nimble moves to dodge the phantoms, demanded, "Why are they attacking us?"
Super-Turtle, spinning his shell almost faster than his thoughts, exclaimed, "We've been fooled! Harebringer bamboozled us!"
Ch'p, frantically zapping the shadowy foes with his Green Lantern ring, grumbled, "My ring's as useless as a cat in a fish market! These phantoms are the real deal!"
In the shadows, Lulu struggled to catch her breath after expending so much energy. "It's already begun, and I can't lift a paw to help against those shadow ghosts. I managed to gather my other selves back, but just barely... and I'm so wobbly."
Timmy the Timid Ghost, nervously wringing his spectral hands, wondered, "C-can I even fight those ghostly beings? Or will they s-spook me into oblivion?"
Super-Turtle, growing more urgent by the second, pleaded, "Snap out of it, Timmy! We need you!"
Merryman, swooping in to save Lady Bird-Dog from a shadow ghost's sneak attack, cried, "Pull yourself together! We're in the midst of an epic showdown!"
Lady Bird-Dog, surprised by Merryman's intervention, stammered, "Y-you're a man? Mythical creatures like you only exist in storybooks, at least in my corner of the universe!"
Merryman, his jester's bells jingling dramatically, retorted, "And you're a Cocker Spaniel with wings! It's a day full of surprises, my dear!"
Lady Bird-Dog, conceding with a nod, remarked, "Touché."
Wringing his antennae in worry, Blue Beetle muttered, "We're in a pickle."
"Way above our pay grade," mumbled Lady Bug, nodding in agreement.
Blue Beetle, casting an anxious look around, asked, "So, uh, any bright ideas?"
With a shrug, Lady Bug admitted, "Beats me."
Duck Phoenix, struggling to control her fiery feathers, grumbled, "No matter how many flames I shoot at them, they just keep coming!"
Golden Retriever, blasting repulsor rays from his metallic suit at the ethereal foes, observed, "They're not even fazed by my repulsors -- they're gobbling it up like treats at a dog park!"
Timmy the Timid Ghost, throwing spectral punches with newfound confidence, exclaimed, "They can't lay a paw on me, but boy, can I wallop them!" With a mighty blow, he sent a shadow ghost spiraling into the air, and beamed with pride as he did so.
Ala-Kat-Zam, casting eldritch energy with his magic wand, observed, "My magic just gives them a temporary case of the wobblies, not a total vanishing act! What in the name of Kibble are these critters, Ub'x?"
Brandishing his trusty Sucker Stick, Doctor Ub'x declared, "Step aside, magician! My Sucker Stick can turn this floor into a trap!" With finesse, he expertly wrangled a few unsuspecting shadow ghosts.
Impressed by his skills, Ala-Kat-Zam cheered him on. "You're on fire, pal! It doesn't matter who saves the day, as long as it gets saved!"
The Wuz-Wolf, smashing shadow ghosts with his monstrous might, growled, "Of course it matters who wins, and if I'm in the mood, I might just munch on all of you once we're done here!"
The dynamic trio of Stormwing, Mystery Mink, and the Green Lantern Ch'p had combined their powers to construct an unbreakable prison for one of the shadow ghosts.
Strengthening the cage with his power ring, Ch'p quipped, "Nice work, Heat-Lady!"
Mystery Mink retorted, "We don't need you, Power Ring Guy! Stormy and I could've handled this without breaking a sweat!"
Stormwing replied, "Oh, my love, don't be so hard on the little chipmunk."
"Not a chipmunk," corrected Ch'p, "just a Monk from the planet H'lven."
Ignoring the correction, Mystery Mink suddenly realized the shadow ghost prisoner was breaking free, and fast. "Uh-oh, jailbreak alert!" she shrieked as she was knocked off the ledge where she stood.
Ever the gallant hero, Stormwing reassured her as he summoned his storm powers to create a fluffy cushion of snow for her landing. "Fear not, Mandy -- I shall ease your descent with a pillow of snowy softness!"
As Mandra Mynxbynd sank into the pillowy snow, she couldn't help but feel the sudden urge to take a quick catnap. "Oh, Terry, it's a shame you can't join me here and now."
"Duty calls, my dear," replied Stormwing, known to his friends as Terry Dactyl.
"As it always does," sighed Mystery Mink, rising to her feet and ready to rejoin the fray.
Super-Turtle, flailing in his futile attempts to defeat the relentless specters, grumbled, "Is it just me, or are these ghostly thugs immune to my shell power?"
Golden Retriever, nodding in agreement, chuckled, "You're preaching to the doghouse, my friend!"
Amidst the swirling chaos, Lady Bird-Dog piped up, "Hey, has anyone seen Harebringer? Or did she hop away when things got hairy?"
"My guess? Hopped away faster than a rabbit on roller skates!" quipped Merryman. I've been on Earth-C for too long, he mused. I'm starting to talk like a funny animal!
Ala-Kat-Zam, his whiskers twitching with suspicion, mused, "Do you think that sly bunny knew all along this was gonna be a ghost-busting bonanza?"
The Wuz-Wolf, baring his fangs with wicked intent, growled, "Oh, she'll pay for this, mark my words! The Wuz-Wolf doesn't take kindly to bunny mischief!"
Just when things seemed their darkest, a blinding light engulfed the room, scattering the shadow ghosts like a bunch of startled chickens.
Red-Hen Tornado, shielding her eyes from the intense glow, grumbled, "I swear, I can't see a darn thing!"
Realizing the phantoms had vanished into thin air, Ch'p couldn't contain his excitement, "Whoopie! Those spooks have finally vanished into the cosmic abyss!"
Pointing dramatically with a feathered wing, Duck Phoenix exclaimed, "Look up there! The plot thickens!"
A voice emerged from the shadows, addressing the bewildered bunch. "Do not accuse Harebringer, for she is innocent. This was the doing of a mutual enemy, and she is not to be blamed. However, let me dim the disco lights so you can feast your eyes upon my magnificent visage!"
Stepping into the spotlight, a majestic figure emerged. It was a grey-skinned lizard decked out in snazzy gleaming armor. "I am Uncle Monitor Lizard," he boomed, "and I have gathered you all here because -- brace yourselves, folks -- your universes are about to croak like a tub of expired yogurt!"
With the sudden revelation from Uncle Monitor Lizard, our bewildered heroes and villains found themselves thrust into a new, mind-boggling mystery, one that threatened not just their existence but the very fabric of this chaotic multiverse.
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Post by DocQuantum on Sept 16, 2023 9:37:53 GMT
I've reorganized and rewritten much of this story, attempting to make some of the less-funny parts a bit funnier, so even if some of it seems familiar, please do read it from the beginning! I hope this brings a smile to your face.
So my plans are to do a funny animal version of all 12 issues of Crisis on Infinite Earths. Each issue will be its own story. That's why this one here is considered a completed story.
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