Spoiler: Hat Trick

March 1988
Stephanie Brown smiled as she watched “Sherlock Holmes” in the beautiful Roosevelt Theatre. The newly restored playhouse had once been one of Gotham City’s finest theaters during the thirties. The passage of time had led to its closure until several charitable minded citizens like Bruce Wayne funded an ambitious restoration project. The Roosevelt was beautiful once more and Stephanie admired the scenery like the glorious murals that depicted various scenes from American history nearly as much as the pretty blonde sixteen year old enjoyed the play. The bright scholarship student at the Kathy Kane Academy for Girls loved mysteries and seeing the revival of one of the earliest dramas based on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Great Detective was a real treat.
“I’m sorry Babs couldn’t join me but her cold developed into the flu. It sure was nice of her to give me her ticket to the play. She loves Sherlock Holmes too. Of course, that’s natural since as Batwoman she’s such a gifted sleuth herself. I’m lucky that she has been training me in so many areas so I can be an effective crime fighter as Spoiler!” she thought.
She had discovered that librarian Babs Gordon was in fact the second heroine known as Batwoman while researching her own father Arthur “Cluemaster” Brown’s criminal career. Babs had been impressed with the girl’s keen mind and agility and with occasional assistance from Nightwing was teaching the teen heroine all she could. She also employed her at the Gotham Public Library as a page.
Stephanie needed her friendship since she was a lonely girl at the private school where snobby Julia Denver and the other pupils were wealthy and many looked down on her as a mere scholarship girl. The fact that her mother was now seeing a prison inmate and super villain called Crazy Quilt added other troubles to her life.
She shrugged and pushed her worries aside as she continued to enjoy the play. The actor playing Holmes was brilliant. She was delighted and enthralled by his performance.
Then, in the middle of the final act shouts rang out as three figures rushed out on the stage and raced across in front of the audience. The first man was tall and burly. The second man was short and thin. The third figure was a pretty woman with auburn hair. All of them were dressed in Victorian or Edwardian clothes but clearly they were not part of the play. The action on stage stopped as the newcomers rushed out and shouts echoed from behind the stage.
Stephanie gasped as she realized they were apparently intent on disrupting the play or worse. The actors on stage realized their peril and made no effort to resume their acting. The star moved forward toward them bravely placing himself in front of the other actors in a protective manner.
Stephanie saw them begin to struggle and she slipped out of her seat and hid behind one of the theater’s Art Deco alcoves and swiftly changed into a purple leotard with a matching hooded cape and a blue domino mask that covered the upper part of her face and left her long blonde hair concealed beneath her hood. A specialized belt hung across her hips.
She raced forward and swiftly sized up the situation. The three figures didn’t appear to have conventional weapons but the men carried small truncheons. She also noticed that they moved with an awkwardness that made them seem eerie like bizarre sleepwalkers.
She flipped forward acrobatically and landed in a crouch between “Sherlock Holmes” and the three intruders.
“Hi! I guess no one told you guys that rushing the stage is really more of a rock n roll thing!” she quipped.
She swung her legs around and tripped the smaller man. He grunted but made no other sound as he fell forward. She kicked upward and knocked him cold with ease. However the big man grabbed her cape and pulled her backward with impressive strength.
“Can’t let that big ape hit me with his truncheon! I guess they are carrying them since they were common in the 19th century and they want to keep up some kind of Victorian image!”
She allowed herself to be moved toward him and used the momentum to crash into him. He was big but she was much faster and with a quick combination of punches she managed to leave him reeling backward into the female. She dodged him and moved toward Spoiler with her own truncheon raised overhead.
Spoiler kicked the large man in the chin and smiled as he crashed into the woman. Spoiler rolled over his falling form to punch the woman twice.
“Weird. They never spoke. The woman’s eyes looked glazed too!” she mused.
As police sirens echoed from outside the theater, the actor playing Holmes approached her and extended a hand.
“My thanks, Spoiler. Oh yes, I know your name. I have my sources and do follow the crime news. I suppose it dates back to my own brief foray into the world of costumed adventurers. My name is Clive Sigerson. I once had an encounter with the Joker and since then when not on stage I have eagerly read everything I could about Gotham City’s more colorful citizens!”
Spoiler smiled and shook his hand.
“Thanks. Were they trying to rob the box office? They don’t seem to be carrying anything like cash boxes!” she said.
Sigerson said, “They came from backstage not the box office. I deduce their purpose was something else. Rather, than rob the theater they wanted to occupy us all. I fear something else has been stolen!”
Spoiler said, “They were dressed like characters from Sherlock’s time too but they made no effort prior to the play’s opening to pass for actors. They wanted to be seen even if they made no sound!”
She said, “As you might say …the game is afoot!”
She raced off and thought, “I better check in with my own information source! My own cyber sleuth Oracle! She may have a lead as to what these zombie-like Edwardians wanted!”
Back at her own home, Stephanie adjusted her special earrings and contacted Lyla the Oracle. Lyla was a mysterious woman with remarkable resources and equipment that went beyond anything available to most people or organizations for that matter. Spoiler, Batwoman, and other heroes contacted her through the special devices she provided and in turn she gave them information that aided them in bringing various criminals to justice. She was brisk, humorless, and efficient but Batwoman assured Stephanie that in spite of Lyla’s intimidating manner, she liked and respected Spoiler as much as Babs herself did.
Spoiler said, “Lyla, how are you? Can you give me any info on the trio that interrupted the play at the Roosevelt? They were dazed like drugged people but they seemed to want folks to see them!”
Lyla’s cool voice replied immediately, “I’ve browsed Gotham Police files and from what I can determine they weren’t drugged but they were suffering from a type of mind control. The exact technique has traditionally been used by a notorious villain known as the Mad Hatter! I surmise he used them to occupy everyone while he took what he wanted and made his escape unseen!”
Stephanie said, “The Mad Hatter! I read about him! He thinks he’s the character from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland! Right?”
“Jervis Tetch is a madman with a fixation on the character from the works of Lewis Carroll. He makes use of gimmicked hats that allow him to control the minds of anyone who dons them! Tetch is still incarcerated ….but his successor broke out of prison a few weeks ago. You see, there are two villains who use that nom du crime. Both men claimed to be named Jervis Tetch. The second one is taller and resembles the Hatter from the books but instead of using mind control he merely has an obsession with stealing rare hats! Apparently, he has adopted the m.o. of his predecessor if we assume he was behind the mind controlled trio who disrupted the play!”
Spoiler grinned and said, “So, he pulled a hat trick?”
Lyla said, “Very amusing as always, Stephanie. The trio are still dazed and unresponsive. None of them have criminal records or any obvious connection. They all live in Gotham City but have nothing else in common. Their names are Lyle Monroe, Ursula French, and Dean Olinger. Monroe is a truck driver. French is a bank manager. Olinger is in pest control.”
Stephanie said, “Something seems familiar to me about that name Ursula French.”
Lyla said, “It is an unusual name but while she has achieved a notable success in her profession at a young age, she is not a celebrity or notorious figure.”
“There is one surprising feature of the crime. The actor playing Holmes was wearing a rare deerstalker hat once owned by famous Holmesian actor William Gillette. Surely, rather than distract everyone on stage the gang would have taken the actor’s valuable hat. They made no effort to do so according to witness statements.”
Stephanie said, “So, what exactly did they take?”
Lyla said, “An equally rare copy of the Strand Magazine signed by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and containing the first appearance of Sherlock Holmes! It seems the play’s director collects Sherlock Holmes items and brought the magazine to the theater to give as a surprise gift to Clive Sigerson. It vanished from backstage during the disruption.”
Stephanie said, “Thanks, Oracle. Any idea where the Mad Hatter will strike next or why he took a book and not a hat?”
Lyla replied, “I shall check my sources and be in touch!”
Stephanie sighed and curled up on the couch.
“Mom’s visiting Crazy Quilt in jail again. I guess I might as well do some homework and then see if I can get somewhere on this mystery. I won’t bother Babs while she’s still sick!” she said softly.
She pulled her school books closer and began to work as the lonely night fell.
The next day after school Stephanie rushed into the library and after performing some routine shelfing and public service duties, she hurried over to the card drawers where new library card applications were stored before being entered in the library computers.
She smiled broadly as she pulled out an index card.
“Ursula French! She changed the address on her library card a few weeks ago. I knew I saw that odd name somewhere. I was the one who filed her paper application! She came in on February 12. I have an idea!” she thought.
She flipped through the other applications from that date and then put them back in order.
She hesitated for a moment as if uncertain of what she should do next. Then, she spotted the long desk with its recessed interior that contained date due cards for books checked out on various days. Each day’s circulated books had a card stamped with the card number of the person who checked it out. The cards would eventually be phased out and all transactions would be conducted on computers. The library had received a grant to complete the complicated process but it would not begin until summer.
After looking over all the cards for February 12, she found cards that belonged to books checked out to French and a book on cassette checked out to a card issued years ago to Monroe.
“The truck driver Monroe also came in the same day Ursula did. He checked on a book on cassette. I know a lot of truckers use them for long trips. He checked it out the same hour that Ursula French used the library and checked out her own materials. Olinger doesn’t have a card at all though!” she said.
At that moment a tall, gaunt figure emerged from out of the rare books room and silently approached the pretty blonde.
“Miss Brown, you were whispering to yourself. While I do not fault you for your lack of volume I do find it odd that you are talking to yourself!” he said.
She gasped in surprise and then smiled at Jonathan Crane.
“I’m sorry. I sometimes do talk to myself. I guess I’m a bit ditzy!” she said.
Crane smiled slightly and said, “On the contrary, you are extremely bright. Would that my former students had possessed even a fraction of your keen intellect. I heard you mention Olinger. Would you be referring to Dean Olinger? He conducted a pest control examination for the library last month.”
Stephanie smiled broadly and said, “Yes! Was that on February 12?”
Crane said, “I believe so. Are you seeking his services? Some people have a fear of insects.”
Stephanie said, No, sir. Thank you though!”
She thought, “Okay, so none of the trio were criminals but all of them were at the library on February 12. I wonder if the Mad Hatter captured them or somehow lured them to some base and began to take over their minds so they could steal for him. I know nobody as weird looking as the Mad Hatter came here while I was working though!”
She resumed her normal duties and then when things grew calmer, she searched the card files once more.
“It sure looks like their mysterious boss was here too though. There is no card under the name Tetch though. I don’t even find any for any obvious alias a Lewis Carroll fan would use.”
“What does it mean? He clearly met them here. He must have picked them almost at random from among all the library users that were here then. Why here? He also took a rare book but not a valuable hat. Books. The common theme seems to be books. I wonder if I could set a trap for him.”
She moved behind the desk and began to type rapidly.
The ever silent Crane passed by on his way out and said, “Ah, the newsletter. I believe Miss Gordon gave you the assignment of compiling the library newsletter.”
Stephanie said, “Right. It is mainly just a collection of program photos, new item lists, and blurbs about various programs but it is fun to do. Sadly, nobody seems to read it.”
Crane sighed and said, “Indeed. I fear very few of our colleagues actually use the literary treasures we have here. They certainly don’t read materials related to their jobs.”
“You may be assured that you do very good work and your talents are appreciated by some people I have learned to respect very highly.”
He left and Stephanie looked at what she had typed.
“Nobody on staff really reads the newsletter. I’m going to put in a blurb about a fake exhibit. It may be enough to draw out the Hatter if that’s who our mystery villain really is. It may get me in hot water but I’ve got to assume Babs will keep me safe from any trouble. She is the boss after all!”
That evening Stephanie returned home and was greeted warmly by her mother Agnes. Agnes was a nurse and she worked hard. She was a good mother even if her current relationship with Crazy Quilt didn’t exactly speak well for her common sense.
“Hi honey. You look tired. Are you working too hard at the library?” she asked.
Stephanie hugged her and said, “I’m good. How are you?”
Agnes said, “I’m fine. I’ll have supper ready soon!”
Stephanie looked longingly at her mother and thought, “I’d like to say something like are you still dating a super villain but there’s no reason to upset her. Maybe, she’ll see through that oily creep eventually. After all, she finally realized what a jerk my dad is!”
Agnes said, “Oh, by the way, your package came in from Lacey’s Department Store. Is it a surprise?”
Stephanie smiled and picked up the small box.
“Yes, it is!” she said.
She carried it to her room and opened it to reveal a pair of earrings.
“Oracle must have sent these. They look like the ones I use to communicate with her but there’s something different about their shape. The note says “wear these with your Hat.”
She fingered them carefully and used the regular ones to call Lyla.
In a small town a very pregnant Lyla rested in an immaculate living room. None of her super heroic contacts knew the pretty blonde was actually a very contented wife and mother. She used the super advanced equipment salvaged from her late mentor the Monitor’s satellite to achieve her research miracles. She did this when she was not living a very normal life of domestic bliss with her ruggedly handsome doctor husband and small daughter.
Lyla smiled and said, “Spoiler, I assume you received the earrings? They will shield you from the typical mind control devices used by the Mad Hatter. By the way none of the hats worn by the trio of robbers from the theater contained any devices of any type. He must have used something different to put them into their trance-like state. I still feel like you will be safe if you wear the new earrings. I also learned of another crime. A rare Robert Herrick first edition was stolen by three men dressed like cavaliers. They escaped along with a man in a tall hat who managed to avoid being seen clearly by the one witness. It may have been Jervis Tetch himself this time.”
Stephanie said, “Herrick was loyal to King Charles I. That’s why he was called a cavalier poet. I remember reading his works in school! First, we have Victorian types robbing a Sherlock Holmes publication and now thieves dressed like cavaliers stealing a Herrick work. I guess our villain likes to dress his gangs according to the type of book he wants to steal! That doesn’t sound like the Mad Hatter! Who was his cell mate?”
Lyla said, ‘His cell mate was released around three months ago. His name is Mackenzie Rodgers. He was a model prison who worked in the prison library. He was in prison for assault. Do you suspect he may be the one behind these book based crimes? I can try to locate him!”
Stephanie said, “That would be great. Thanks for all your help!”
Lyla said, “Stephanie, be careful. Rodgers nearly killed the man he assaulted. He can be dangerous.”
She thanked her again and signed off.
Three days later, Stephanie dressed as Spoiler crouched inside the library near the rare books room and looked at a hastily created display consisting of random books taken from the book sale table and a few posters she had made.
“L. Frank Baum may be best known for wiring The Wonderful Wizard of Oz and a lot of other Oz books but he also wrote a play that he called The Tik Tok Man of Oz. He wrote a lot of Oz books but this one is rare in its dramatic form. Since a play attracted our thief the first time and he seems to have recruited his gang from the library, I figured a fake announcement in the library newsletter about a rare Tik Tok Man manuscript display would bring him here. My fake display should wouldn’t fool anyone in daytime but since I said the materials would arrive tonight for exhibition tomorrow, I hope dim lighting will help me trick him.”
Hours later, Spoiler shifted her weight and stifled a yawn.
“Okay, so he uses the library but doesn’t read the newsletter either!” she said.
At that moment three men entered the library! Apparently they had silenced the security alarms and expertly broke into the silent structure.
Spoiler’s eyes widened in delight. She had them! They were dressed as the Scarecrow, the Tin Woodsman, and the Cowardly Lion from the Oz books! She assumed they were the three cavaliers from the previous crime. She didn’t recognize them as library patrons but then again perhaps their boss abducted or recruited them from some branch library or even a book store!
Spoiler knew nothing in the display was valuable. She shoved the table over on them and leaped across to kick the Scarecrow flat. She spun around and delivered another stunning kick.
“That’s you all over!” she joked.
She ducked as the Lion pounced at her. She dropped on her back and brought both legs up so that her high heeled boots connected with the fat lion and knocked the breath out of him.
His furry costume slowed him down and he was clearly already under the trance-like spell that had marked the first trio she had fought at the theatre.
She rolled aside and then rolled back to elbow him in the back of his head.
As the Tin Woodsman raised an ax over her, she jumped aside and hurled a pellet at him. It broke open and he doubled over as the nausea inducing gas it contained bought him down.
She smiled and scanned the darkened library.
“Come on out! You’re overdue to get stamped out!” she joked.
At that moment a slender man with brown hair and intelligent eyes stepped forward. He wore a brown suit that seemed to be made out of some type of sleek book binding. His tall top hat gleamed in the dim light as some small metallic parts caught the light.
“You’re Mackenzie Rodgers! You learned about the first Mad Hatter’s mind bending gizmo from the second one when he was your cellmate! You waited until he broke free and then started your own crime wave stealing rare books and manuscripts instead of hats!”
She reached for her belt pouch for another pellet and circled him warily.
He said, “Indeed! You are correct. I am Mackenzie Rodgers but you may also call me the Bookworm!”
At that moment Spoiler groaned in pain as she was struck from behind.
A woman with garish green make-up on her face and a black witch’s dress on her gaunt figure emerged from the shadows and held up a metal broom.
“I’ve got you my Pretty!” she cackled.
The Bookworm smiled and said, “Yes, I fear our little heroine failed to take all the characters into account! While my trio were indeed sluggish due to their mental enslavement, I do have another ally who has normal reaction time!”
He started to step over her and then as he caught a glimpse of her blonde hair from beneath her hood, he stopped in his tracks.
“Bring her along! I have plans for her!” he said with a strange giggle.
Spoiler woke up later and frowned as she blinked furiously and realized she was no longer at the library nor was she in costume.
She now wore a brief old fashioned little girl’s ruffled white dress with a large red bow. Her long blonde hair was now elaborately curled and a big red bow rested on her head. She glanced down to see gleaming silver high heeled slippers on her feet.
“I’m not in Kansas anymore!” she whispered as she looked up to see the grinning Bookworm and his four allies.
“Don’t worry, Dorothy. My loyal Miss Gulch here dressed you. We must keep everything proper like dear Mr. Baum would have wanted it.”
Miss Gulch, the Wicked Witch, said, “She does make a perfect Dorothy. Although I had to work hard to make her hair look like Mr. John Neill’s illustrations from the first book!”
Spoiler said, “You should talk about hair lady! Who’s your stylish the Winged Monkey King?”
Bookworm said, “Hush, Dorothy. While Miss Gulch is loyal to me, I have had to use my own modified version of my comrade Jervis Tetch’s mind bender to ensure the loyalty of my other minions. You shall join them and become my perfect Dorothy and when we embark on a new chapter we shall turn you into Alice or Heidi or those darling March girls! Oh, such fun we shall have!” he said with a high pitched giggle.
He leaned over the girl and his odd hat gleamed as a small metal device popped out of a compartment on the front and a narrow beam washed over her.
Spoiler felt a wave of dizziness but she sighed with relief as her small earrings protected her from the mind controlling device. Luckily, Miss Gulch had not removed them from her body when she undressed her.
She waited and as Bookworm drew closer, she carefully timed her movements and then punched him in the face three times.
His hat crumpled to the ground and she kicked it across the room and darted forward to duck under Miss Gulch’s broom and kick her in the chin.
A final punch knocked her cold and Spoiler grinned. “I could have dropped a house on you!”
She spun around and noticed that the Lion, Tin Woodsman, and Scarecrow had not moved. Without the mechanisms of the hat intact they were free from the Bookworm’s control but still dazed.
She looked down at the Bookworm as he raised his hands helplessly and said, “Don’t strike me, Dorothy! This is not how the book ends!”
Spoiler said, “Sorry, but consider this the revised version!”
Later, after she had bound the two criminals, regained her costume and called the police, Spoiler watched from the shadows as the Bookworm, Miss Gulch, and their entranced pawns were led away by the authorities.
“Lyla said the effects of the mind control device can be reversed now that we have the original device and she can supply the police with a way to cure the pawns Bookworm forced to serve him. Apparently as someone obsessed with books, Rodgers haunted book stores and libraries and used his hat to dominate random customers at such places. He turned them into characters from the books he wanted to steal. As for the real Mad Hatter he’s still loose but I bet he’ll turn up soon enough!”
She said, “None of them know who I am. I’m just some blonde girl to them. The three who were in a trance probably won’t recall me or anything else they saw. The Bookworm is crazy enough to just think of me as the real Dorothy and not a normal girl!”
She looked down at her belt pouch where something silvery gleamed.
“And I guess I even picked up a cute pair of heels!” she said with a smile.