Post by redsycorax on Oct 23, 2018 1:04:54 GMT
"Uhhh...where are we?" Bat Woman said groggily, coming to.
"Would you like some blue eggs and ham?"
"Who are you?"
"I am Tam. Tam I am. Would you like blue eggs and ham?"
Around them, the Freedom Brigade observed all manner of strangeness- lopsided houses, anthropomorphic trees and a plenitude of bipedal creatures wearing assorted headwear.
"Wow, they must really have some creative building cde regulations here..." Mr Might trained his long distance vision on their surroundings.
"The smelloring detects wood shavings and chimney smoke. Also rotten tomatos." Green Trashcan commented.
"Why are those avianoids running in and out of those factories so quickly. Hang on. They look familiar, but why?" Lady Liberty puzzled.
"Don't look now, Dana, but a large bipedal felid has just sidled up next to us, wearing a top hat."
"I am Hatcat. Don't look so severe. By any chance, are you all strangers here?"
"We're on an alternate Earth where every word written by Dr Thoose must be reality!!!" Captain Swift deduced.
"Your speedster is indeed correct. Our world has an awful plight as you may suspect."
"Like the fact that this world is only slightly more probable than Earth-F?" Bat Woman said, consulting their Heisenberg Alternate Probability Index register.
"But hasn't Earth-F disintegrated?" Mermaid pointed out.
"Yes, but now it's reiterated. Moreover, as you can plainly see, they plot fiendish villainry."
"But why invade such a relatively peaceful world as this one?" Mermaid queried.
YOU TRY BEING STUCK IN A UNIVERSE WITH NO NARRATIVE DEVELOPMENT WHATSOEVER, said the wording on a placard held by a mournful looking coyote.
"Exactly. I keep trying to catch a diminutive yellow canary and I resultantly keep getting subjected to brutal animal abuse by our sadistic female owner. Over and over. It's like something out of Freud, or Nietzsche, either my desire for oral satisfaction is eternally frustrated, or my whole existence consists of eternal recursion." remarked a similarly bipedal large black and white cat.
"Not to mention rampant ethnic stereotyping." A small sombrero-hatted mouse added.
"And ridiculously inflexible social relationships. The coyote, cat and I always get locked into loser roles, usually at the wings or paws of a roadrunner, that canary, or an utterly despicable tall grey rabbit. Well, we've had enough, buster." A small black duck blustered.
"But why take over this world?" Mr Might asked.
"I know what you mean." Captain Swift exchanged glances with an anthropomorphic tree.
"In any case, they look as if they're ready for you." Bat Woman pointed to the opposing shore.
On strawberry malt flavoured seas, the behatted animal inhabitants of Earth-G assembled, mounted on anthromorphic chordatoids with human dentition and lisps. Above them flew other denizens of that alternate Earth, on legless draconoid creatures whose behatted pilots held slingshots inside which were set the aforementioned giant rotten tomatos. All of them were centred on the funny animal invaders from Earth-F.
"Oh yeah?" Suddenly, the small black duck wore a Green Lantern costume and power ring
"Oh yeah?" The coyote suddenly sported on his new placard as he sat atop a large ACME laser cannon.
"Our defeat is not a narrative neccessity on this world." The black and white cat concluded.
"You sound like an erudite creature. Why should we onward slog, when we can enter dialogue?" Hatcat asked his counterpart.
"The problem is, we aren't the only inhabitants of our Earth who want to flee the iron law of episodic narrative structure and perpetual defeat." The black and white cat indicated several others awaiting the outcome of their conversation.
"Why, we have abundant places, in very much capacious spaces."
"So now they've resolved it without any bloodshed, why were we teleported here in the first place?" Lady Liberty asked the others.
"Never mind. I'll dial back the cosmic vibrator and we'll return to our own world." Captain Swift reached down for their handy interdimensional travel device.
"Ah well. Still, would you expect graphic violence and death in a Dr Thoose themed world anyway?" Princess Power noted
"True, but all we did this episode was sit around making expository dialogue and observing the somewhat baroque scenery." Bat Woman acknowledged.
"We all have quiet days, Vicky." Princess Power replied.
"I know, but our raison d'etre is to fight supervillains and cosmic menaces. This isn't the Golden Age, where we can get away with more quotidian crime fighting, unless we're a Batman analogue, and that isn't my particular milieu either. I preder sixties camp. Mind you, this delicious blue eggs and ham of theirs is excellent. They should franchise it across the multiverse..." So debating, the Freedom Brigade dematerialised from Earth-G, as they cascaded homewards through bleedspace toward their own alternate universe. But would they get there at their next stop? All right yes, they will, because this whole installment was intended as a giant padding piece anyway.
THE END
"Would you like some blue eggs and ham?"
"Who are you?"
"I am Tam. Tam I am. Would you like blue eggs and ham?"
Around them, the Freedom Brigade observed all manner of strangeness- lopsided houses, anthropomorphic trees and a plenitude of bipedal creatures wearing assorted headwear.
"Wow, they must really have some creative building cde regulations here..." Mr Might trained his long distance vision on their surroundings.
"The smelloring detects wood shavings and chimney smoke. Also rotten tomatos." Green Trashcan commented.
"Why are those avianoids running in and out of those factories so quickly. Hang on. They look familiar, but why?" Lady Liberty puzzled.
"Don't look now, Dana, but a large bipedal felid has just sidled up next to us, wearing a top hat."
"I am Hatcat. Don't look so severe. By any chance, are you all strangers here?"
"We're on an alternate Earth where every word written by Dr Thoose must be reality!!!" Captain Swift deduced.
"Your speedster is indeed correct. Our world has an awful plight as you may suspect."
"Like the fact that this world is only slightly more probable than Earth-F?" Bat Woman said, consulting their Heisenberg Alternate Probability Index register.
"But hasn't Earth-F disintegrated?" Mermaid pointed out.
"Yes, but now it's reiterated. Moreover, as you can plainly see, they plot fiendish villainry."
"But why invade such a relatively peaceful world as this one?" Mermaid queried.
YOU TRY BEING STUCK IN A UNIVERSE WITH NO NARRATIVE DEVELOPMENT WHATSOEVER, said the wording on a placard held by a mournful looking coyote.
"Exactly. I keep trying to catch a diminutive yellow canary and I resultantly keep getting subjected to brutal animal abuse by our sadistic female owner. Over and over. It's like something out of Freud, or Nietzsche, either my desire for oral satisfaction is eternally frustrated, or my whole existence consists of eternal recursion." remarked a similarly bipedal large black and white cat.
"Not to mention rampant ethnic stereotyping." A small sombrero-hatted mouse added.
"And ridiculously inflexible social relationships. The coyote, cat and I always get locked into loser roles, usually at the wings or paws of a roadrunner, that canary, or an utterly despicable tall grey rabbit. Well, we've had enough, buster." A small black duck blustered.
"But why take over this world?" Mr Might asked.
"I know what you mean." Captain Swift exchanged glances with an anthropomorphic tree.
"In any case, they look as if they're ready for you." Bat Woman pointed to the opposing shore.
On strawberry malt flavoured seas, the behatted animal inhabitants of Earth-G assembled, mounted on anthromorphic chordatoids with human dentition and lisps. Above them flew other denizens of that alternate Earth, on legless draconoid creatures whose behatted pilots held slingshots inside which were set the aforementioned giant rotten tomatos. All of them were centred on the funny animal invaders from Earth-F.
"Oh yeah?" Suddenly, the small black duck wore a Green Lantern costume and power ring
"Oh yeah?" The coyote suddenly sported on his new placard as he sat atop a large ACME laser cannon.
"Our defeat is not a narrative neccessity on this world." The black and white cat concluded.
"You sound like an erudite creature. Why should we onward slog, when we can enter dialogue?" Hatcat asked his counterpart.
"The problem is, we aren't the only inhabitants of our Earth who want to flee the iron law of episodic narrative structure and perpetual defeat." The black and white cat indicated several others awaiting the outcome of their conversation.
"Why, we have abundant places, in very much capacious spaces."
"So now they've resolved it without any bloodshed, why were we teleported here in the first place?" Lady Liberty asked the others.
"Never mind. I'll dial back the cosmic vibrator and we'll return to our own world." Captain Swift reached down for their handy interdimensional travel device.
"Ah well. Still, would you expect graphic violence and death in a Dr Thoose themed world anyway?" Princess Power noted
"True, but all we did this episode was sit around making expository dialogue and observing the somewhat baroque scenery." Bat Woman acknowledged.
"We all have quiet days, Vicky." Princess Power replied.
"I know, but our raison d'etre is to fight supervillains and cosmic menaces. This isn't the Golden Age, where we can get away with more quotidian crime fighting, unless we're a Batman analogue, and that isn't my particular milieu either. I preder sixties camp. Mind you, this delicious blue eggs and ham of theirs is excellent. They should franchise it across the multiverse..." So debating, the Freedom Brigade dematerialised from Earth-G, as they cascaded homewards through bleedspace toward their own alternate universe. But would they get there at their next stop? All right yes, they will, because this whole installment was intended as a giant padding piece anyway.
THE END