Post by redsycorax on Oct 14, 2023 1:06:01 GMT
In an infinite Multiverse, there are numerous bad parodies of Batman and Robin from the mid-sixties. We've already seen Bat Woman and Badman far too many times in this thread, so this time, just for a change of pace, come with us now to Earth-255. Things are somewhat different from our own Earth. Women dress indistinguishably from drag queens, the US flag is mauve, aqua and crimson instead of red, white and blue, and the First Citizen of the United Republic of America is Marilyn Munroe, after an unfortunate affair with hunky actor John Fitzgerald Kennedy, and an attempted assassination in Kennebunkport which only succeeded in polishing off the First Citizens Consort, playwright Arthur Miller. Superella is the World's Mightiest Girl here, and other heroes include Lean Arrow, Aukwoman and Princess Dowager Diana of Grand Britannia, aka Woman Wondrous. Come with us now to the thorazine days of almost sixty years past.
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SLITHAM CITY:
"Halt! Don't move, feller ! You're under arrest for wearing women's clothing!"
C.C. Beaumont sighed: "Look, buster, I am a woman!"
The police officer's partner was apologetic:
"I'm so sorry, ma'am. Sargeant O'Flummoxery here is rather short sighted. Pssst, Seamus? You did it again! That's the fifteenth time this week!"
"It's not my fault! Who can tell these modern twentieth century type fashions apart with their sinful high hemlines, plunging necks and huge earrings, bangles and belts? Why, women dressed more copiously back when Queen Charlotte was on the throne back in the good old days..." The embarrassed partner was by now trying to crowbar his fossilised companion into the police car as C.C. simpered and strode down the street, accompanied by large amounts of traffic and entourages of saxophonists for no good reason for far, far too long. Abruptly, however, C.C was waylaid by hordes of husky voiced insanely laughing figures banging on her door, leading to repeated screams of terror and a panicked phone call to the authorities. Meanwhile, her annoying and somewhat vacant boyfriend, pop star Lonnie Lord, was busily banging out a song alongside several woman dancing in leopardskin print halter tops and miniskirt, which went on for quite some time, before he finally realised that his girlfriend was long overdue for a date. Fortunately, however, the Chortle Gang had left the phone on and on the other end, Lonnie could hear his girlfriend being tentatively abducted.
C.C. ran screaming in impractical stilleto heels and drove away at high speed, until the Chortle Gang laughed repeatedly and finally managed to capture C.C., bundling her into the back seat of a truck and again accelerating away. At C.C.'s rooms, handyperson Titus Twimbly confessed that the Chortle Gang had finally managed to abduct C.C. after about twenty minutes of incoherent but vaguely menacing phone dialogue. Lonnie was playing his guitar to guilt trip and insult Titus over the abduction, albeit in a strangely homoerotic manner, especially considering he was supposed to be in love with C.C. There were strangely suggestive sounds from the other side of the locked door, and then emerged the Friends of Freedom, the Liaisons of Liberty, Rat Pfink and Boo Boo! A ski mask and football jersey atop a utility belt, shorts and boots was the accoutrement of Rat Pfink, while Boo boo was dressed in a tiger striped mask with horns, with matching shorts and boots. The couple mounted their Rat Cycle and then it broke down, so they comandeered another one, finally finding their way to the Chortle Gang. A badly choreographed fight sight ensued, with Boo Boo showing utter ineptitude, leaving two of the interchangeable Chortle Gang to head away with C.C. An interminable chase down several country roads continued for quite some time, but mud intervened. For several more minutes, the Crepe Crimefighters pursued the fleeing Chortlers and their captive. Inexplicably however, at that very moment, the surly gigantic ape Kodakk escaped from its somewhat addled owner. Kodakk snorted like a pig while deciding it was his turn to abduct C.C. , while Rat Pfink and Boo Boo finally triumphed over the Chortles, subduing them. Lonnie unmasked out of ignorance of the secret identity schtick while Kodakk was led away, back to whatever zoo he came from. An inexplicable parade followed, with Lonnie singing and C.C. dancing badly while Rat Pfink and Boo Boo ran down a beach and Kodakk danced with his keeper and surfers rode the waves. Several minutes later, either a woman or drag queen was attacked by another interloping gang. Mercifully, a sequence of event stills with a garish piano laden soundtrack then ensued for about a minute and the whole ghastly routine was finally over!
Thankfully, however, this whole cockamamie sequence of events was right in the way of at least fifteen multiversal Crises and thanks to convenient crimson skies of death and rampaging antimatter storms, the whole universe that contained Earth- 255, Rat Pfink, Boo Boo, C.C. Beaumont, Kodakk the Escaped Oinking Gorilla and the Chortle Gang was deservedly wiped from existence on several different occasions. Unfortunately, though, the whole sorry, ramshackle causality and unconvincing effects were restored to existence due to that hackneyed trope, "quantum flux", and to this very day, Rat Pfink and Boo Boo ride the streets of Slitham City, crepe-crusading for tripe, juiciness and the anachronistic way!!! (This is because its universe is well into entropic collapse and it has a severely depleted time stream, so lots of repetition happens).
Sauce: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_Pfink_a_Boo_Boo
THE END [2.05, OCTOBER 14, 2023]
Hey, kids!!! Do you want to see more amazing, heroic, exciting, intrepid, daring and gaseous adventures of those Creped Crimefighters, Bat Pfink a Boo Boo?!! Then buy Magnet Comics and thrill to their reprinted daring-do, although the ink bleeds, so humour your parents and wear gloves. Oh, and it's black and white.
+++
SLITHAM CITY:
"Halt! Don't move, feller ! You're under arrest for wearing women's clothing!"
C.C. Beaumont sighed: "Look, buster, I am a woman!"
The police officer's partner was apologetic:
"I'm so sorry, ma'am. Sargeant O'Flummoxery here is rather short sighted. Pssst, Seamus? You did it again! That's the fifteenth time this week!"
"It's not my fault! Who can tell these modern twentieth century type fashions apart with their sinful high hemlines, plunging necks and huge earrings, bangles and belts? Why, women dressed more copiously back when Queen Charlotte was on the throne back in the good old days..." The embarrassed partner was by now trying to crowbar his fossilised companion into the police car as C.C. simpered and strode down the street, accompanied by large amounts of traffic and entourages of saxophonists for no good reason for far, far too long. Abruptly, however, C.C was waylaid by hordes of husky voiced insanely laughing figures banging on her door, leading to repeated screams of terror and a panicked phone call to the authorities. Meanwhile, her annoying and somewhat vacant boyfriend, pop star Lonnie Lord, was busily banging out a song alongside several woman dancing in leopardskin print halter tops and miniskirt, which went on for quite some time, before he finally realised that his girlfriend was long overdue for a date. Fortunately, however, the Chortle Gang had left the phone on and on the other end, Lonnie could hear his girlfriend being tentatively abducted.
C.C. ran screaming in impractical stilleto heels and drove away at high speed, until the Chortle Gang laughed repeatedly and finally managed to capture C.C., bundling her into the back seat of a truck and again accelerating away. At C.C.'s rooms, handyperson Titus Twimbly confessed that the Chortle Gang had finally managed to abduct C.C. after about twenty minutes of incoherent but vaguely menacing phone dialogue. Lonnie was playing his guitar to guilt trip and insult Titus over the abduction, albeit in a strangely homoerotic manner, especially considering he was supposed to be in love with C.C. There were strangely suggestive sounds from the other side of the locked door, and then emerged the Friends of Freedom, the Liaisons of Liberty, Rat Pfink and Boo Boo! A ski mask and football jersey atop a utility belt, shorts and boots was the accoutrement of Rat Pfink, while Boo boo was dressed in a tiger striped mask with horns, with matching shorts and boots. The couple mounted their Rat Cycle and then it broke down, so they comandeered another one, finally finding their way to the Chortle Gang. A badly choreographed fight sight ensued, with Boo Boo showing utter ineptitude, leaving two of the interchangeable Chortle Gang to head away with C.C. An interminable chase down several country roads continued for quite some time, but mud intervened. For several more minutes, the Crepe Crimefighters pursued the fleeing Chortlers and their captive. Inexplicably however, at that very moment, the surly gigantic ape Kodakk escaped from its somewhat addled owner. Kodakk snorted like a pig while deciding it was his turn to abduct C.C. , while Rat Pfink and Boo Boo finally triumphed over the Chortles, subduing them. Lonnie unmasked out of ignorance of the secret identity schtick while Kodakk was led away, back to whatever zoo he came from. An inexplicable parade followed, with Lonnie singing and C.C. dancing badly while Rat Pfink and Boo Boo ran down a beach and Kodakk danced with his keeper and surfers rode the waves. Several minutes later, either a woman or drag queen was attacked by another interloping gang. Mercifully, a sequence of event stills with a garish piano laden soundtrack then ensued for about a minute and the whole ghastly routine was finally over!
Thankfully, however, this whole cockamamie sequence of events was right in the way of at least fifteen multiversal Crises and thanks to convenient crimson skies of death and rampaging antimatter storms, the whole universe that contained Earth- 255, Rat Pfink, Boo Boo, C.C. Beaumont, Kodakk the Escaped Oinking Gorilla and the Chortle Gang was deservedly wiped from existence on several different occasions. Unfortunately, though, the whole sorry, ramshackle causality and unconvincing effects were restored to existence due to that hackneyed trope, "quantum flux", and to this very day, Rat Pfink and Boo Boo ride the streets of Slitham City, crepe-crusading for tripe, juiciness and the anachronistic way!!! (This is because its universe is well into entropic collapse and it has a severely depleted time stream, so lots of repetition happens).
Sauce: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_Pfink_a_Boo_Boo
THE END [2.05, OCTOBER 14, 2023]
Hey, kids!!! Do you want to see more amazing, heroic, exciting, intrepid, daring and gaseous adventures of those Creped Crimefighters, Bat Pfink a Boo Boo?!! Then buy Magnet Comics and thrill to their reprinted daring-do, although the ink bleeds, so humour your parents and wear gloves. Oh, and it's black and white.