Post by redsycorax on Jan 29, 2024 3:44:06 GMT
You may remember Captain Black Bunny if you're E. Nelson Bridwell or a Fawcett Comics aficionado. He's basically a lagomorph equivalent of Earth-S' Black Adam, only he's the one-time fiendish foe of Hoppy the Marvel Bunny. He only made a single appearance in 1945 and that was it. However, prepare to be mildly surprised- for Captain Black Bunny was thrown way back across the Multiverse and...this happened...
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EARTH-COD-ARTHUR:
I'm afraid that this Earth is the one on which the seventies film Monty Python and the Holy Grail took place, which means that it's a somewhat deranged version of the medieval Arthurian mythos and if Thomas Malory ever came across this, he'd lay into the culprits behind it with a sharpened sword and violently do away with them. Okay. So this occurs just after the vicious, razor-toothed and thoroughly evil Rabbit of Cennenborg has just savaged and killed several members of this Earth's Round Table. Yes, that's right, it's a killer bunny.
Anyhow. An instant later, the muscular and bipedal Captain Black Bunny landed in her cave. Yes, that's right, the malevolent Rabbit of Cennenborg is a doe.
"Uhhhh... hey, wait a minute, this isn't my world. You're not anthropomorphic enough."
"So tell me, hot muscular stud bunny, what brings you to my gore-drenched sinister cave?"
"Okay, you're a doe. And cute. I am Captain Black Bunny, an evil metarabbit from an alternate universe to this one. Oh. Are all those human skulls, skeletons and assorted entrails all your own work?"
"I cannot lie. Yes. For I am a ferocious anthropophagic mutant killer rabbit, even if that's somewhat anachronistic for this medieval era. Oh, and I can signal my vocabulary through rabbit-inflected sign language, which explains our dialogue. I am the Killer Rabbit of Cennenborg."
"You're the most beautiful creature I've ever seen."
"Look, bunny boy, we're wasting time. You're a rabbit, I'm a rabbit. While I just love that skintight black outfit, my Reproductive Urges are in Overdrive at the moment. What say we engage in rampant bunny bonking and create a fiendish species of hyperpowered mutant killer rabbits to take over this world?"
"That's a little dark for this thread, isn't it?"
"It is deeply incongruous yes, but anyone who encounters this narrative will apparently derive humour from the bizarre juxtapositioning. C'mon. You're a bad boy bunny and I'm a megalomaniac violent sapient female lagomorph. We could make horrible, cacophonous diabolical music together!"
"How can I resist you any longer, Rabbit of Cennenborg? In all the multiverse, I have never met a creature more depraved and bloodthirsty as you!"
"Oh, Black Bunny, you say the nicest things. Come on. Time to set the bloodsoaked mutant killer rabbit takeover of this pathetic planet in train...Mmm..."
THE END [4.45 PM , JANUARY 29, 2024]
[I had to cut it short there, things were getting decidedly un-G-Rated...]
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EARTH-COD-ARTHUR:
I'm afraid that this Earth is the one on which the seventies film Monty Python and the Holy Grail took place, which means that it's a somewhat deranged version of the medieval Arthurian mythos and if Thomas Malory ever came across this, he'd lay into the culprits behind it with a sharpened sword and violently do away with them. Okay. So this occurs just after the vicious, razor-toothed and thoroughly evil Rabbit of Cennenborg has just savaged and killed several members of this Earth's Round Table. Yes, that's right, it's a killer bunny.
Anyhow. An instant later, the muscular and bipedal Captain Black Bunny landed in her cave. Yes, that's right, the malevolent Rabbit of Cennenborg is a doe.
"Uhhhh... hey, wait a minute, this isn't my world. You're not anthropomorphic enough."
"So tell me, hot muscular stud bunny, what brings you to my gore-drenched sinister cave?"
"Okay, you're a doe. And cute. I am Captain Black Bunny, an evil metarabbit from an alternate universe to this one. Oh. Are all those human skulls, skeletons and assorted entrails all your own work?"
"I cannot lie. Yes. For I am a ferocious anthropophagic mutant killer rabbit, even if that's somewhat anachronistic for this medieval era. Oh, and I can signal my vocabulary through rabbit-inflected sign language, which explains our dialogue. I am the Killer Rabbit of Cennenborg."
"You're the most beautiful creature I've ever seen."
"Look, bunny boy, we're wasting time. You're a rabbit, I'm a rabbit. While I just love that skintight black outfit, my Reproductive Urges are in Overdrive at the moment. What say we engage in rampant bunny bonking and create a fiendish species of hyperpowered mutant killer rabbits to take over this world?"
"That's a little dark for this thread, isn't it?"
"It is deeply incongruous yes, but anyone who encounters this narrative will apparently derive humour from the bizarre juxtapositioning. C'mon. You're a bad boy bunny and I'm a megalomaniac violent sapient female lagomorph. We could make horrible, cacophonous diabolical music together!"
"How can I resist you any longer, Rabbit of Cennenborg? In all the multiverse, I have never met a creature more depraved and bloodthirsty as you!"
"Oh, Black Bunny, you say the nicest things. Come on. Time to set the bloodsoaked mutant killer rabbit takeover of this pathetic planet in train...Mmm..."
THE END [4.45 PM , JANUARY 29, 2024]
[I had to cut it short there, things were getting decidedly un-G-Rated...]