Post by redsycorax on Apr 10, 2024 3:43:10 GMT
Yes, it's time yet again for our intrepid heroes the Freedom Brigade to travel overseas- namely, Japan this time. But who is The Evil Brian From Emeraud?
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PROLOGUE:
Evil Brian was created from what should have been the strongest steel on the mystical planet Emeraud, but they cut corners because an unscrupulous sub-contractor undercut other suppliers on costs and so it wasn't. Dressed in white tights and cowl with an inexplicable antenna atop his head, Evil Brian was created to destroy peace and spread evil in the universe, and using the Evil Brian Dial on his wrist, he flies through space, detects radiation and can speak any language, albeit extremely badly. He didn't get the idea of a civilian identity, because in it, he was still called Evil Brian and despite wearing a suit and fedora hat, the telltale antenna was also visible behind it. He was also unfairly nicknamed "Captain Trousersnake" [Kyaputen Zubon no Hebi] because of certain ... overcompensations ... in his outfit.
When Evil Brian attacked the peaceful reptilian Kaipa-Seijin species and tried to use a politically undefined army of extremists onboard a giant satellite to attack Japan, as well as repeatedly send evil witches after small children for some bizarre reason, the Freedom Brigade had to become involved!!!
TOKYO:
"Too bad we don't live on an alternate Earth where Godzilla's real. All he'd have to do would be to stomp on this Evil Brian character with his feet and it'd be over." Ms Might noted as the Wha-Hey Team of Captain Swift, Mermaid, Ms Might, Bat Woman, The Eye and Mighty HermAphrodite sauntered down an idyllic central Tokyo street where they were frequently stopped for selfies, asked to autograph copies of manga adaptations of their adventures and posed for television news items.
"Who is this Evil Brian supposed to be?" Mermaid queried.
"I suspected bad translation software misrendered it that way from 'Evil Brain,' it'd make sense somehow. You know, for a supervillain like he is, there's not much damage done to the Tokyo skyline as a result of his misadventures.
The Eye indicated a large expanse of cardboard box buildings which looked almost completely but not entirely unlike the bustling Japanese metropolis: "That may be why. According to the sign, that's apparently Danboru Tokyo, or "Cardboard Tokyo", An "Area In Superbeings and Bad Kaiju battle it out for no particular Reason."
Suddenly, Bat Woman pointed: "There! That man with the antenna pointing out from behind his fedora! It must be Evil Brian From Emeraud."
"Yes, Grandfather Brigade! However, I am arrogant. Berezniki is a cheap man. Being open-minded is a big expense. Berezniki, being a big-hearted army, lives on expenses. An empty minded person is a cheap man and an empty-minded army is a cheap one! Berezniki are too selfish, too cheap to stay alive and stop acting like fools! There is nothing I can do to stop you from being so selfish and so selfish!"
"What was that?" Captain Swift said, scratching his head through his cowl.
"A seriously garbled mistranslation from the original Japanese, I believe. Evil Brian may have meant to say that he is currently plotting to use his army of ignorant cheap Berezniki zealots who will fall like cannon fodder because they're idiots and we're selfish in battling him." Several puzzled diminutive donkeys from Bereznik also sauntered around with no real function in the plot, given that they were supposed to have been the aforementioned evil witches, but thanks to the faulty translation software, were merely asinine and bewildered.
And abruptly, the scene was crowded with angry, chanting figures armed with fighting staffs, antique firearms and samurai swords in medieval Japanese outfits. Bat Woman sighed:
"This isn't going to be pretty. Bat Girls, Toni and Butch, Lauren, could you dispose of these rather insipid opponents while Billy, Eye, Raka and I try to stop Evil Brian?"
"I'd like to know why he's Evil Brian and not Evil Brain. Although some would say the translation software in this episode is fairly diabolical!"
"House! I won't take you back to the mystical planet Emeraud and make peace with it!!!! I like it when I hold it down! If you fail, you'll be so lucky!"
"All right, that was something about the mystical planet Emeraud. We need to take him back there and he's into being restrained."
"Did you do it? You can't speak Japanese?"
Abruptly, several wobbling hubcaps appeared in the sky above them as the Bat Girls, Mighty HermAphrodite and Mermaid finally overpowered the badly equipped and lazy Berezniki army, who were unceremoniously teleported back to their nondescript and interchangeable Central European post-communist wasteland.
"Earth humanity! He shall be taken to the planet Emeraudo and have his bits chopped off! Please forgive me! I'm going to take him to discipline him now!"
And with that, tractor beams emanated down from the alien flying hubcaps and they hesitantly rose upward, leaving Evil Brian screaming:
"The mother of ancient times! Is this the end of Brian's life with Eve? I will be in pain eternally with haemorrhoids!"
"Remind us never to accept another booking in Japan unless they seriously upgrade the translation software. Evil Brian bordered on the indecipherable." Bat Woman said as they prepared to teleport back to the Freedom Brigade satellite.
THE END [4.26 PM, APRIL 10 2024]
(c) Translation Software copyright to Babel Fish A Go Go, Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.
++
PROLOGUE:
Evil Brian was created from what should have been the strongest steel on the mystical planet Emeraud, but they cut corners because an unscrupulous sub-contractor undercut other suppliers on costs and so it wasn't. Dressed in white tights and cowl with an inexplicable antenna atop his head, Evil Brian was created to destroy peace and spread evil in the universe, and using the Evil Brian Dial on his wrist, he flies through space, detects radiation and can speak any language, albeit extremely badly. He didn't get the idea of a civilian identity, because in it, he was still called Evil Brian and despite wearing a suit and fedora hat, the telltale antenna was also visible behind it. He was also unfairly nicknamed "Captain Trousersnake" [Kyaputen Zubon no Hebi] because of certain ... overcompensations ... in his outfit.
When Evil Brian attacked the peaceful reptilian Kaipa-Seijin species and tried to use a politically undefined army of extremists onboard a giant satellite to attack Japan, as well as repeatedly send evil witches after small children for some bizarre reason, the Freedom Brigade had to become involved!!!
TOKYO:
"Too bad we don't live on an alternate Earth where Godzilla's real. All he'd have to do would be to stomp on this Evil Brian character with his feet and it'd be over." Ms Might noted as the Wha-Hey Team of Captain Swift, Mermaid, Ms Might, Bat Woman, The Eye and Mighty HermAphrodite sauntered down an idyllic central Tokyo street where they were frequently stopped for selfies, asked to autograph copies of manga adaptations of their adventures and posed for television news items.
"Who is this Evil Brian supposed to be?" Mermaid queried.
"I suspected bad translation software misrendered it that way from 'Evil Brain,' it'd make sense somehow. You know, for a supervillain like he is, there's not much damage done to the Tokyo skyline as a result of his misadventures.
The Eye indicated a large expanse of cardboard box buildings which looked almost completely but not entirely unlike the bustling Japanese metropolis: "That may be why. According to the sign, that's apparently Danboru Tokyo, or "Cardboard Tokyo", An "Area In Superbeings and Bad Kaiju battle it out for no particular Reason."
Suddenly, Bat Woman pointed: "There! That man with the antenna pointing out from behind his fedora! It must be Evil Brian From Emeraud."
"Yes, Grandfather Brigade! However, I am arrogant. Berezniki is a cheap man. Being open-minded is a big expense. Berezniki, being a big-hearted army, lives on expenses. An empty minded person is a cheap man and an empty-minded army is a cheap one! Berezniki are too selfish, too cheap to stay alive and stop acting like fools! There is nothing I can do to stop you from being so selfish and so selfish!"
"What was that?" Captain Swift said, scratching his head through his cowl.
"A seriously garbled mistranslation from the original Japanese, I believe. Evil Brian may have meant to say that he is currently plotting to use his army of ignorant cheap Berezniki zealots who will fall like cannon fodder because they're idiots and we're selfish in battling him." Several puzzled diminutive donkeys from Bereznik also sauntered around with no real function in the plot, given that they were supposed to have been the aforementioned evil witches, but thanks to the faulty translation software, were merely asinine and bewildered.
And abruptly, the scene was crowded with angry, chanting figures armed with fighting staffs, antique firearms and samurai swords in medieval Japanese outfits. Bat Woman sighed:
"This isn't going to be pretty. Bat Girls, Toni and Butch, Lauren, could you dispose of these rather insipid opponents while Billy, Eye, Raka and I try to stop Evil Brian?"
"I'd like to know why he's Evil Brian and not Evil Brain. Although some would say the translation software in this episode is fairly diabolical!"
"House! I won't take you back to the mystical planet Emeraud and make peace with it!!!! I like it when I hold it down! If you fail, you'll be so lucky!"
"All right, that was something about the mystical planet Emeraud. We need to take him back there and he's into being restrained."
"Did you do it? You can't speak Japanese?"
Abruptly, several wobbling hubcaps appeared in the sky above them as the Bat Girls, Mighty HermAphrodite and Mermaid finally overpowered the badly equipped and lazy Berezniki army, who were unceremoniously teleported back to their nondescript and interchangeable Central European post-communist wasteland.
"Earth humanity! He shall be taken to the planet Emeraudo and have his bits chopped off! Please forgive me! I'm going to take him to discipline him now!"
And with that, tractor beams emanated down from the alien flying hubcaps and they hesitantly rose upward, leaving Evil Brian screaming:
"The mother of ancient times! Is this the end of Brian's life with Eve? I will be in pain eternally with haemorrhoids!"
"Remind us never to accept another booking in Japan unless they seriously upgrade the translation software. Evil Brian bordered on the indecipherable." Bat Woman said as they prepared to teleport back to the Freedom Brigade satellite.
THE END [4.26 PM, APRIL 10 2024]
(c) Translation Software copyright to Babel Fish A Go Go, Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.